The Doula Reaction
by BBT78
Summary: Bernadette and Penny are both expecting. Leonard is knocked for a loop when Penny announces that she wants a home water birth, while Howard is in for a major surprise when Bernadette hires a doula... DISCLAIMER: I don't own Big Bang Theory
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"All I can say is it's a good job it's the women that have the babies, if it were up to men the human race would be in serious trouble….." Penny remarked as she washed her hands in the restaurant restroom

Bernadette nodded in agreement the events of that afternoon had certainly paid testament to that fact where their partners Leonard and Howard were concerned. The Lamaze class that they had attended had been an unmitigated disaster. The two women sighed simultaneously as they gazed at their reflections in the mirror; they were now both a little over seven months pregnant, their due dates only a week apart.

"Howie won't admit it but I know he's scared about the birth, making all those wise crack jokes at the class was just his way of dealing with his unease…" Bernadette explained

She understood her husband better than anyone although in truth she had been majorly embarrassed by some of the remarks and jokes that he had made. There had been moments during the class when she would have been quiet happy for the ground to open up and swallow her.

"So are you worried that Howard won't be able to handle it when the time comes?" asked Penny before beginning to reapply her lipstick

"Yeah a little..…are you worried about Leonard?"

"Yeah a little" Penny replied echoing Bernadette's response

After practicing breathing techniques and birthing positions the teacher had shown the class a DVD of a caesarean section. Howard had fainted and Leonard had wound up tripping over a birthing ball and colliding with the refreshments table as he made a dash to the bathroom to throw up. Penny had always known that Leonard had a phobia of needles and the sight of his own blood, but up until now it hadn't occurred to her that he might have difficulty with being present at the birth of their baby. The two women exited the restroom and headed over to the table where Howard and Leonard were seated.

"You know Leonard we could be suffering with Couvade syndrome; you know when the male partner experiences symptoms of pregnancy…." Howard was saying

Penny rolled her eyes it was typical of Howard to come up with a lame excuse

"How's your head sweetie?" Penny asked Leonard who was studying the menu intently wishing that they could change the subject. Before he could reply Penny's phone beeped indicating a text message had been received. Taking her cell phone from her purse Penny beamed as she read the message

"Great my birthing tub is being delivered next week" she announced casually

"You're having a water birth?" Bernadette questioned with raised eyebrows

"Actually I was going to just use it for pain relief in early labour but then I did some reading up on it and I think a home water birth is for me…."

Leonard put down the menu he was holding and looked over at his girlfriend this was the first he had heard of Penny's plan to give birth at home

"And WHEN did you decide this Penny?" he asked

Penny saw Howard and Bernadette exchange a glance, they had been witness to many of Penny and Leonard's fights and all the signs were that this was the beginning of another one.

"I thought you'd love the idea sweetie you know how much I hate hospitals. Did you know that having a planned home birth reduces your chances of having a medically assisted birth?" Penny stated proudly she had spent the last month doing research on home birth on the internet but had only recently made her mind up.

"And what if something DOES go wrong and we're miles away from the hospital?" Leonard questioned "What then?"

Although he was trying to remain calm and didn't want a scene in the middle of a restaurant he was so angry with Penny for not including him in the decision and for the way she had so casually informed him.

"Nothing will go wrong honey I've had a normal healthy pregnancy and..…"

"Oh and who told you that nothing will go wrong Penny? Your psychic?" Leonard interrupted in an intentionally condescending tone "I'm sorry but it's totally out of the question"

In an ideal world that would have been the end of it, but Leonard knew very well that that was nothing but wishful thinking; he had never known Penny to back down on anything once she had set her mind on it. If anything he had probably made her more determined to do things her way.

"Excuse me? Out of the question?" Penny repeated

"Penny it may have escaped your notice but this is my baby too, so don't you think you should have discussed it with me before you made a decision that affected us both?"

The waitress arrived with a tray of drinks the conversation paused while she served the drinks and resumed after she had walked away. Penny drummed her fingers on the table angrily

"You always think you know best don't you Leonard? Just because you're the physicist with the fancy PhD and I'm just a community college drop out. Well in this case I'm the one who's pregnant and if I want to give birth at home then you're just gonna have to live with it!"

"Will you listen to yourself?" Leonard snapped "Do you know how childish you sound right now?"

"Bite me!" Penny spat back

Bernadette was shifting awkwardly in her seat she hated being caught up in Penny and Leonard's fights and wished she had some means of escaping. Penny folded her arms across her chest and refused to speak.

"You know what I've lost my appetite" Leonard said as he got up from his seat and tossed his napkin onto the table "Howard will you drop Penny home when you're done eating please?"

Howard nodded

"Sure no problem"

Penny scowled as she watched Leonard stomp out of the restaurant almost knocking over a busboy

"Ahh! He can be so unreasonable…. he ALWAYS has to be right!"

Bernadette and Howard exchanged another glance, neither of them wanted to get involved in this argument particularly as their sympathies lay with Leonard. In the end hardly anyone spoke during the meal and Bernadette was careful to ensure that the conversation was steered away from the topic of pregnancy or childbirth. As promised Howard gave Penny a ride home. She was still fuming as she climbed the stairs to the apartment that she now shared with Leonard. Not long after she had discovered that she was pregnant the tenants in apartment 5A above Sheldon and Leonard's apartment had moved out. It had been a perfect opportunity and had meant that Leonard and Penny could keep an eye on Sheldon as well as Leonard still giving him a lift to Caltech University where they both worked.

Entering the apartment Penny found Leonard slumped on the couch watching TV. From the look on his face she could tell he was still in a foul mood. She hung up her jacket and deposited her keys in the bowl by the door

"Hey" Leonard said without looking up

"Hey"

Penny wandered over to the couch and sat down

"Leonard…" she began only for Leonard to interrupt

"Have you come to your senses yet?" he asked his eyes fixed on the TV screen

"If you mean have I changed my mind about giving birth at home then no" Penny answered quickly

"Ok fine if that's what you want go ahead" Leonard said switching off the TV and throwing the remote down onto the coffee table "Just don't expect me to be there"

"Now who's being childish?" Penny retorted

Leonard shrugged

"Sorry Penny you can have your 'water birth'" he said making speech marks in the air with his fingers which only served to exasperate Penny further "But you'll be doing it without me"

The words hit Penny like a stab to the heart and she found herself needing to hold back the tears that were starting to sting in her eyes. Leonard marched off to the bedroom returning with a pillow and a blanket which he threw in temper down on the couch. The truth was that the idea of a home birth terrified him, the thought of complications arising that could potentially put Penny and the baby's lives at risk scared him to death. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and feared for her wellbeing somehow his anger was stopping him.

"Suits me just fine at least I won't have to watch you throwing up!" Penny shouted before stomping off to the bedroom making sure she slammed the door

Howard awoke that night and rolled over in bed to cuddle his wife only to find that her side of the bed empty. The alarm clock read 3am and he could see light from the lounge creeping in from under the bedroom door. Getting up he wandered out to find Bernadette sat at the dining table on her laptop.

"Are you ok honey? Its 3am" Howard said as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and gave a yawn

"I couldn't sleep" Bernadette replied "Sorry did I wake you?"

Howard shook his head and took a seat at the table beside his wife

"Is something bothering you? You were very quiet after we got back from the restaurant" he asked reaching for her hand

Bernadette bit down her lip. There was another reason other than the baby doing somersaults as to why she had been unable to sleep.

"Nothing's wrong but I do have something I want to discuss with you" Bernadette replied "but maybe it can wait till morning…."

Howard insisted that she tell him now otherwise he too would be unable to sleep. Bernadette cleared her throat

"I've been doing some thinking and I'd like to hire a doula"

"You mean like a birth coach?" Howard raised his eye brows "Why? Are you saying you don't want me to be at the birth?"

Bernadette shook her head vigorously the last thing she wanted was for him to feel rejected, but just as Howard was fearful of the birth so was she and she needed to have someone around her who was experienced, calm and able to support her no matter what happened.

"No not at all, this is our first baby and I just think that having a doula could be good for of us" Bernadette answered "It's not like we can't afford it…"

Bernadette's salary far out-weighed Howard's earnings, something which often bothered him. Picking up the information that she had printed out from the Internet Bernadette began to read aloud the potential benefits of having a doula and also personal accounts from couples that had used a doula. Howard listened patiently but deep down couldn't help but feel that somehow he was being side lined. In the end Bernadette seemed so enthusiastic that he felt he couldn't object, he didn't want to get into a fight particularly having witnessed how Leonard and Penny had fallen out over the issue of homebirth earlier that evening.

"So what do you think? Shall I call the agency tomorrow and have them send us the details over?" Bernadette asked excitedly

Howard took a deep breath and hoped that what he was about to say would sound sincere

"Sure honey if this is what you want then I'm behind you 100%" he flashed his best fake smile and slipped his arm around Bernadette's shoulders allowing him to pull her close and to kiss the top of her head.

"Thank you Howie" Bernadette exclaimed "This means so much to me!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A few days had passed since Penny had declared her intention to have a water birth and Leonard was struggling to stay awake as he ate lunch in the university cafeteria. The fights were on-going and he had just spent his third night sleeping on the couch. He knew that it was Penny's day off work and although he was fit to drop with exhaustion he didn't want to return home early only to resume world war III.

"I thought the sleepless nights were supposed to come after the baby's born" Raj pointed out as he watched Leonard finish up his second cup of coffee

"The reason Leonard can barely keep his eyes open is because he and Penny were up half the night fighting.." Sheldon remarked

He had already chewed Leonard's ear off in the car on the way to work about being kept awake by their yelling and slamming of doors. His noise cancelling headphones had proved to be ineffective.

"Sheldon this has nothing to do with you" Leonard asserted "So can we PLEASE just drop this and change the subject?"

They continued to eat in silence until Howard received a text message on his cell phone

"Looks like Bernie has found a doula" Howard announced to his friends as he read the message on his cell phone

"And you're ok with that?" Leonard questioned sensing that Howard wasn't necessarily in favour of the idea

Howard shrugged his shoulders

"I guess Bernie is very enthusiastic about the whole thing…."

Howard spent the rest of the afternoon at work mulling over Bernadette's decision to hire a doula. By the time he pulled his car into his parking space at their apartment he had come to the conclusion that perhaps he had over reacted, maybe having a doula as Bernadette firmly believed would be beneficial for both of them.

"Hi Bernie I'm home" called Howard as he let himself into the apartment. He could hear voices coming from the kitchen followed by burst laughter. Howard frowned, one voice definitely belonged to Bernadette but he couldn't identify all he knew was it sounded like a male voice.

"Hi honey!" Bernie exclaimed as Howard entered the kitchen to see Bernadette sat at the counter drinking coffee with a dark haired man with a short stubble beard wearing jeans and a red check shirt.

"Jake this is my husband Howard"

Jake smiled and stuck out his hand to shake hands with Howard

"Great to meet you Howard Bernadette has been telling me all about you" Jake said

Howard gazed at the man standing in his kitchen with an expression of total bewilderment. After being introduced to Howard Jake asked if he could use the bathroom and exited the kitchen.

"I have a really good feeling about this I think Jake's gonna make a wonderful doula" Bernadette beamed

At first Howard was lost for words and stared at the kitchen doorway through which Jake had just disappeared

"Bernie Jake's a guy, aren't doulas supposed to be women?"

"It's a little unconventional I know, but from the moment I met him I knew that he was the one. He's very experienced he has great references and he also works part time as an EMT" she told him proudly. Finding a doula had proved to be a lot easier than she had anticipated.

Bernadette bent down opened the oven door and using a set of gloves and removed the lasagne that she had prepared for dinner. After offering Jake the job she had invited him to join her and Howard for dinner so that they could spend the evening getting to know each other better.

"A male doula so he must be gay right?" Howard mused rubbing his chin

"No actually he told me he had a girlfriend but they broke up last year" Bernadette answered as she set about dishing up the meal

"Not gay interesting…" Howard said to himself and then added "Don't you think maybe we could have talked about this together before you went ahead and actually hired someone?"

Bernadette's turned away from the dishes to look at her husband her facial expression had turned from a smile into a frown

"I thought you said you were happy for me to make the decision?" Bernadette reminded him a fact which Howard couldn't deny, but at no point had it occurred to him that the doula would turn out to be a man.

"Howie do you have a problem with Jake?"

"Well you have to admit honey it's weird I mean a guy working as a doula…."

Hearing Jake's footsteps approaching the kitchen the conversation was halted and Bernadette asked Howard to open a bottle of wine for him and Jake to have with dinner. Howard took a bottle of red wine from the wine rack and set about trying to open it using a corkscrew.

"Do you need a hand there Howard?" Jake asked noticing that Howard appeared to be struggling to uncork the bottle

"No thanks I've got it" Howard responded and then added "Did Bernadette mention I went up to the International Space Station last year?" he was keen to assert his masculinity despite the fact that he was continuing to struggle to open the wine

"Yes she did that's really impressive Howard" Jake answered sincerely

"Well that's the kind of guy I am taking risks.. Putting my life on the line in the interest of science and space exploration…."

There was a loud pop sound as Howard finally uncorked the bottle and poured two glasses of wine and an orange juice for Bernadette. They all clinked glasses and Bernadette watched as Howard completely emptied his glass within a matter of seconds and then proceeded to pour himself another. Lifting his glass and with a nervous laugh he proposed a toast

"To Jake! The doula!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"I'm so sorry about Howard Jake" Bernadette apologised for the third time "I don't know what's gotten into him today he doesn't normally drink that much"

During dinner Howard had drunk the best part of a whole bottle of wine to himself and had passed out on the couch, unable to wake him Jake had helped Bernadette get him up and into bed.

"Its fine Bernadette really" Jake assured as they stood by the door while he slipped on his leather jacket "But maybe you should talk to him I got the impression that he not too keen on the idea of me being your doula…"

Jake had experienced this reaction from fathers-to-be before and in most cases after the initial surprise they got used to the idea and in the end wound up thanking him, but regrettably there had been occasions when the male partner was not willing to accept him.

"He needs to be assured that I'm not here to replace him, my role is to support you both"

"I know Jake don't you worry about Howie I can handle him…." Bernadette asserted although from his behaviour that evening it was obvious that it was probably going to take quite a lot of convincing.

After saying goodnight Jake left. Bernadette had just set about clearing up in the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. It was late and Bernadette wondered if Jake had forgotten something and had returned. Opening the door she found Penny holding a rucksack, her eyes red and puffy from crying, her cheeks streaked with mascara. She had got into another fight with Leonard and was asking whether she could stay over the night. She was also in desperate need of ice cream.

"So do you wanna talk about Leonard?" Bernadette asked as the two of them sat eating their ice cream on the couch

"No not really" Penny answered

They ate for a while in silence until Penny asked where Howard was to which Bernadette replied that he was already in bed having drunk nearly a whole bottle of wine to himself at dinner with their newly appointed doula.

"What's she like?" asked Penny as she scooped out the last of the ice cream from her bowl and licked the spoon

"Actually she's a he" Bernadette answered and waited for a reaction

"You're kidding? And Howard he's ok with that?"

"No actuality if tonight is anything to go by then no don't think he is, but I know my Howie he'll come round" Bernadette stifled a yawn. It had been a long day and she needed to get to bed. Telling Penny that the bed in the guest room was already made up she got up and said goodnight. As she neared the doorway she paused

"Penny you know Leonard only reacted the way he did because he's scared and he loves so much" she said

Bernadette waited for Penny to reply but when she failed to respond she said a second goodnight and walked away

"I know" whispered Penny to herself as she heard the door to Bernadette's bedroom close

In the morning Penny slept in to gone 10am. When she finally emerged from the bedroom she saw that Bernadette already had company. Jake was sat cross legged on the floor of the lounge, while Bernadette was lying on her back on a yoga mat; the sound of soothing music was coming from the stereo. Pushing herself up into a sitting position Bernadette introduced Jake to Penny

"Penny this is Jake my doula"

Jake got to his feet noticing immediately that Penny was also pregnant and couldn't help but to grin at the _'does my bump look big in this?'_ slogan on her t-shirt

"Hi Penny nice to meet you, cool t-shirt"

Penny exchanged a look with Bernadette and raised her eyebrows, during their discussion the previous evening Bernadette had failed to mention how cute Jake was; now she could see another reason as to why Howard felt uncomfortable.

"Jake was just showing me some breathing exercises and relaxation techniques" Bernadette said

"I'm sorry I didn't realise you had company today, I should go" Penny turned back towards the guest bedroom

"Why don't you join us Penny?" Jake suggested from his bag he took out a mat and placed it on the floor

Penny hesitated she didn't want to impose but on the other hand she didn't feel much like returning back to her apartment, she wasn't ready to face Leonard yet. Laying down and closing her eyes Penny began to relax instantly listening to Jake's soothing voice as he took them through a guided imagery technique imagining that she was lying on the beach watching white fluffy clouds in the sky floating slowly by. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so relaxed and at ease.

"Do you think we should wake her?" asked Jake as he rolled up his mat

Penny had fallen fast asleep and was quietly snoring

"No let her sleep she probably didn't get much last night she was pretty upset after her fight with Leonard" Bernadette answered as she watched her friend sleeping peacefully on the exercise mat

"That's too bad do you think they'll work things out?"

"I hope so I've never known a couple to be so much in love and yet have so many communication issues…"

Bernadette sighed it hurt her to see one of her best friends so unhappy

"You know Howard once told me that even after they broke up for two years Leonard used to still look out for her. Penny lived in the opposite apartment and if she was working a late shift at the restaurant or out with friends he would wait up until he knew she was home safe, he wasn't spying on her or anything creepy like that I just think he never stopped loving her…"

Bernadette and Jake got up from the floor and as they headed to the kitchen for some bottled water Penny opened her eyes, she had heard Bernadette's revelation about Leonard, it was something that until now she never known. Her heart ached for him.

A week passed and Penny was still staying with Bernadette and Howard, by the time the weekend arrived Leonard had decided enough was enough. He had given Penny the space that she had said she needed, but now the time had come to sort out their differences once and for all. On Saturday morning he decided to go over to Bernadette and Howard's apartment to talk with Penny only to find that both Bernadette and Penny had already gone out.

"She and Bernadette have gone to a prenatal yoga class over at Allendale Park" Howard told him "and then I think they said they were going shopping after for baby clothes"

It was a warm sunny day in Pasadena as Leonard steered his car into the parking lot. In the near distance he could see a group of about twenty women on exercise mats under the shade of a large tree. The class was drawing to a close and he heard the instructor call out 'Good job ladies' followed by a brief bout of applause. As he approached across the grass Leonard spotted Penny and Bernadette chatting with some of the other moms-to-be. Bernadette was the first to see Leonard and felt relieved that one of them had finally made the move to try and reconcile their differences.

"Penny I think we need to talk now" Leonard stated firmly

Hearing his voice Penny turned around the sight of him standing close by caused her heart to skip a beat, even though it had only been a week she had missed him desperately. With only a nod as a reply Penny followed Leonard back to his car. They sat in silence for some time just watching the joggers and dog walkers go by for some time before Penny finally spoke

"Leonard I'm sorry for the way I've acted" she blurted out "I know I should have discussed the birth with you and I certainly shouldn't have sprung it on you like that at the restaurant…."

Leonard took hold of Penny's hand and looked into her eyes

"Penny you need to know that I'm not comfortable with the idea of you giving birth at home, if it were completely up to me I would much prefer that we had our baby at the hospital where there's doctors and medical equipment and operating rooms right there in case…"

Penny shuddered the thought of needing a C-section completely freaked her out, Leonard continued

"But if this is really means that much to you and you're sure it's what you want then I will support you"

Leonard stroked Penny's cheek and worked his fingers down to her lips she closed her eyes and responded by gently caressing his fingertips

"So you're not going to let me go through this on my own then?"

"Sweetheart I would never leave you to deal with this alone" Leonard assured her and brushed the stray strands of hair away from her face "I'm sorry I acted like such a jerk…."

A single tear rolled down Penny's cheek

"Please come home Penny I miss you both so much"

As Leonard placed his hand on Penny's belly he felt the baby kick

"Yes I want to come home"

Leonard smiled as he put his car into gear and reversed out of the parking space. Those were the words he had waited a whole week to hear. Now they could look forward to the arrival of their baby together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was Wednesday night which meant only once thing in apartment 4A. Halo night. Sheldon, Leonard and Howard and Raj were gathered together in the same way they had for ten years now. Some traditions never changed. It was gone 8pm however the game was yet to commence much to Sheldon's annoyance

"I'm telling you a guy as a doula it's just not right…" Howard grumbled

Earlier that evening he had come home from work to find Jake massaging Bernadette's back, while demonstrating a techniques which could be used to ease back pain during labour. Jake had invited Howard to try and practice the massage but Howard had shied away. He had just spent the last ten minutes listing the reasons as to why men shouldn't be doulas.

"At least your baby isn't going to be born miles from the hospital in the middle of your lounge in an oversized paddling pool…." Leonard interjected although the thought of a having a Penny hiring a male doula didn't appeal much to him either

"Gentlemen please can we have one evening without you both bellyaching about birthing tubs and doulas?" Sheldon said with irritation in his voice "I have to say ever since the two of you became expectant fathers you've lost your keen edge so far as Halo goes… "

Leonard sighed he wasn't in mood for gaming but if he left now Sheldon would never let him here the end of it.

Upstairs Penny was hosting a girls night for Amy and Bernadette. They were currently deciding which movie to watch from a selection of DVDs which were laid out over the coffee table.

"Oh come on Bernadette you can't seriously be telling me you HAVENT noticed how hot Jake is?" Penny exclaimed

Bernadette picked up the 'The Break up' DVD and stared at the photograph of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn on the front

"The relationship between Jake and I is purely professional; I hired him for his experience…." She insisted

Penny was having none of it and continued to persist while she emptied a bag of popcorn into a bowl before settling down on the couch to watch the movie which Bernadette had now selected

"So you haven't noticed those muscles rippling beneath his shirt then?.."

"So he works out lots of guys work out" Bernadette pointed out

"Amy back me up here" Penny turned to her friend the week before they had run into Jake at the supermarket when they had been going to pick up Sheldon's spicy mustard sauce "You thought he was cute right?"

"Possibly the most beautiful man I have ever seen" she replied with a faraway look in her eye "There's something inherently sexy about a man who is so masculine and yet is able to understand and connect with women…"

"Alright alright I think Jake's hot ok? but that WASN'T why I hired him" Bernadette finally relented "This stays between us Howard is already freaking out about the whole thing if he knew it would only make things worse…"

"You're secret's safe with us" Penny beamed pleased that Bernadette had finally admitted what she had suspected since first meeting Jake "What he doesn't know can't hurt him right?"

Bernadette gave a weak smile she was already beginning to regret allowing Penny to badger her into admitting that she thought Jake was attractive; she only hoped Amy wouldn't say anything to Sheldon otherwise Howard would be sure to find out.

Once all three of the girls were settled down on the couch Penny reached for the remote only to find the battery had died. As she rummaged around in the kitchen drawer looking for a replacement to her surprise she came upon across several unopened final demand bills , Leonard was usually very prompt and efficient when it came to taking care of the bills.

"Is everything ok Penny?" asked Amy when Penny appeared to be taking her time

"Yeah just coming" Penny called back and made up her mind to try to get some extra shifts at the restaurant over the weekend. Fortunately Leonard was going away to be away at a conference in San Diego, if he knew of her plans to take on extra work she had no doubt he would object.

"_What he doesn't know can't hurt him"_ Penny thought to herself as she pressed play on the remote.

It was Saturday lunchtime and the Cheesecake Factory where Penny worked was even busier than normal with all the tables occupied mostly by families with children. One of the other waitresses had called in sick at the last minute which had meant she was covering even more tables than usual.

"Table four's looks ready to order Penny would you mind taking it?" Nancy one of the waitresses said as she rushed by with a tray of drinks

Taking out her notepad Penny headed over to the table and didn't look up until she was stood at the table

"Hi Penny I didn't know you worked here"

It was Jake

"Hey Jake nice to see you again" Penny flashed him a smile "Do you know what you'd like to order?"

Jake ordered the chicken salad sandwich and a soda. He had spent the morning at the gym and had run into Howard, Penny laughed

"Believe me Howard Wolowitz does not got to the gym" Penny informed him

Jake looked puzzled Howard had definitely said that he liked to work out three to four times a week, but his old gym had recently closed down, hence he had signed up for at a new gym.

"Sorry I'd love to stay and chat but we're slammed today" Penny said as she jotted down Jake's order

"You know Penny I'm kinda surprised to see you still working so hard, at this stage of your pregnancy you really should be taking it a bit easier…"

Penny was touched by Jake's genuine concern, she'd like nothing more than to be resting at home, her back and feet ached from spending so much time waiting on tables. Her regular uniform no longer fitted so her manager had supplied her with a blue denim maternity dress which she hated, with her increasingly large pregnancy bump she was only just about able to tie the strings on her green apron now.

"Yeah well unfortunately the new crib and stroller I brought on my credit card last week isn't going to pay for itself" Penny replied "I need every cent I can get at the moment"

"Well just make sure you put your feet up tonight and let Leonard take care of you"

"Actually Leonard's away this weekend at a conference…"

Before Penny could finish her sentence Nancy was calling across the restaurant that table ten wanted their cheque

"Sorry Jake gotta go" Penny said and turned to hurry away

She had only taken a few steps when she suddenly felt a hot sensation come over her like she had just stepped into an oven and then the room began to spin. Penny reached for the back of one of the chairs to try and steady herself but a second later her legs gave out from under her and she fell to the floor.

"Penny!" gasped Nancy setting down her tray on the nearest table she bent down by her colleague

In an instant Jake was there announcing to the onlookers that he was an EMT. Telling Nancy that his car was the red Toyota Carolla in the parking lot he handed her his keys and asked her to fetch his bag from the trunk.

"It's ok Penny honey you fainted" Jake soothed touching her cheek gently as she began to come round

Feeling her wrist Jake realised that Penny's pulse was racing. Nancy returned with a rucksack out of which Jake took out a blood pressure cuff and proceeded to take Penny's blood pressure and discovered it was low.

"Shall I call 911?" Nancy asked

Jake shook his head and replying that it would be quicker to take her to the hospital in his car

"Penny sweetie I'm going to take you to the hospital to get checked out" Jake said and scooped Penny into his arms and lifted her from the floor. Nancy held the door to the restaurant while Jake carried Penny out to his car in the parking lot set her down in the front passenger seat and pulled the seat belt across her. In the car Penny turned her head to look at Jake, she still felt dizzy and tiny beads of sweat had appeared on her forehead.

"Jake I haven't felt the baby move…" she told him with tears in her eyes

Instinctively Jake reached out and took her hand. He was still holding it by the time they arrived at the emergency room

"Please don't leave me" Penny begged by now overcome with fear that something was wrong with the baby. As Jake pushed her in a wheelchair through the entrance of the hospital she closed her eyes said a silent prayer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Howard eased himself out of his car slowly and winced slightly with pain. The workout at the gym that morning was already beginning to take its toll; it felt as though every muscle in his entire body was aching.

"Of all the gyms in Pasadena I had to go to the one where he's at…." Howard moaned to himself as he made his way into his apartment block and pressed the call button for the elevator.

It had been finding out via Sheldon about the conversation between Penny and Bernadette on Wednesday evening that had been the catalyst for him joining the gym. While out on their monthly date night Amy had blabbed about how desirable she found Jake and as Bernadette had feared she might, had let slip that the feeling was shared by both Penny and Bernadette. Much to Amy's chagrin her attempt to evoke jealousy in her boyfriend had failed. Sheldon had no interest in what Penny or Bernadette thought of Jake, although privately he was bothered by his girlfriend's apparent interest in another man he didn't let on. Needless to say the revelation had caught Howard's attention.

"So you're saying Bernadette told Penny and Amy that she finds our doula attractive?" Howard had said as he pushed the food around his plate with his fork, his appetite had instantly waned.

"And Penny thinks so too?" Leonard had chipped in

"Is it any wonder?" Raj had pointed out "The man has the body of an Adonis have seen you those abs?"

At that moment Howard had decided he needed to get down the gym and start working out, what he hadn't counted on was running into the one man he felt he was now in competition with.

"Hey Howard I didn't know you worked out. I've never seen you here before…" Jake had commented as he emerged from the changing room

"Err no well that's because my old gym just closed down.." he had lied "I like to keep in shape, did I ever tell you about the fitness program I had to go through with NASA before my space mission?… yeah I feel right at home when I'm here in the gym…"

"Well don't let me keep you from your workout" Jake had replied and had stepped onto the treadmill

Howard had looked around him and had chosen to start one of the weight machines. Jake had watched as he struggled to make the lift

"Are you ok there Howard?"

"Yeah I don't think this one's switched on…."

It had been one of the single most embarrassing moments of his life. Now as he let himself into the apartment Howard came face to face with Bernadette

"Howie you're back" she said anxiouslyA

Howard was still so caught up in his own thoughts he was oblivious to his wife's apparent unease

"I need to take a long hot bath" Howard answered throwing his gym bag down onto the hall floor

"You can't we have company…"

Howard groaned it was probably his mother, he hadn't visited her in over a week and she had called a few times to ask when he was next coming over.

"Is it mom?"

"No Howie it's…"

Bernadette stopped. Their house guest had emerged from the kitchen. Howard turned to see a face which he had not set eyes on in over twenty years now. It was his father.

"Hello son"

It was like looking at an older version of himself. His father was the same height as him but had grey slightly thinning hair and was dressed in a suit that looked to be one or two sizes too big. There was a sad and anguished look to his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Howard demanded

"I know it must be a bit of a shock…" Howard's father began

"Dam right it is it's been more than twenty years…. For all I knew you were dead…."

Howard's father swallowed the lump in his throat this wasn't going to be an easy conversation no matter how many times he had rehearsed it in his mind

"Son can we sit down and talk? There's so much I need to tell you…"

Howard turned back towards Bernadette

"Bernie would you mind just giving me a few minutes alone please?" he asked

Bernadette nodded and headed into the bedroom closing the door behind her. Howard's father walked towards the lounge wall and studied the photographs of Howard in his NASA jacket and of his wedding day

"I'm so proud of you son you've obviously turned into a fine young man. An aerospace engineer, an astronaut, you have a beautiful wife and soon you're gonna be a father…"

"No thanks to you" Howard spat out his words cutting his father like a knife

Howard's father's shoulders drooped as he let out a deep sigh Howard had every right to be angry with him.

"When I saw you on the news last year when you got back from your space mission I wanted to contact you then…"

"So why didn't you?" Howard interrupted

"Its complicated son, things haven't been all that easy for me…."

The words infuriated Howard he could feel the rage boiling up inside him like a pressure cooker and he found that he couldn't stop himself from letting rip

"Things haven't been easy for you? Do you think they were easy for me and mom? I was eleven years old when you walked out of on us. Do you know what it was like lying awake night after night listening to mom crying herself to sleep over you? Wondering where you were and if you were ever coming back? You know I actually used to think that maybe I was the reason you left, perhaps I wasn't a good enough son for you…"

"Howard that's just not true I loved…"

Howard put his hand out and jabbed his finger angrily in the air point at his father

"No don't you dare tell me that you loved me. ..I don't want to hear it dad" he yelled through gritted teeth

Howard's father smiled

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Howard demanded bemused and annoyed by what seemed like a totally inappropriate reaction

"You called me Dad… I know you're angry with me Howard and God knows I deserve it but it still feels so good to hear you call me dad"

There was a long silence while the two men stood and stared at each other

"Howard I know I screwed up big time and believe me I hate myself for what I put you and your mom through and I don't expect you to be able to just forgive me … but life is so short…" he paused "please can you just let me try and explain…"

Howard didn't respond his head was spinning with confusion. His father showing up completely out of the blue was all too much. Right now he didn't know what he felt. Part of him wanted to punch his father out while the other just wanted to hug him and beg him never to leave again.

"Do you remember when you were eight years old and I brought you your first set of magic tricks?"

"Illusions" Howard corrected voice sounding choked "They were illusions not tricks"

Howard's father smiled again

"And do you remember the magician's cape I got you? The one with the stars on it? You wore that thing everywhere you went for months…"

"I don't remember any cape" Howard replied relieved that he had his back to his father so he wouldn't be able to see the tears that were now spilling down his cheeks

"Sure you do" Howard's father insisted

"I said I don't ok"

At that moment the bedroom door opened

"Howie is everything ok?" Bernadette asked although she had wanted to give Howard privacy she couldn't help but hear the entire conversation through the door

"Yeah honey we've said everything we needed to say. Dad was just leaving"

"Can I come over again?" Howard's father asked fearing he already knew the answer

"I'm sorry if it hard for you to hear but there really isn't a place for you in my life now. I have mom and Bernadette and my friends… I don't need anyone else particularly somebody like you…"

Howard turned away again to face the wall his eyes fixed on the photograph of him and his mother at his high school graduation

"Please leave" he uttered

Bernadette watched as the father-in-law she had never met or known until now walked away with his head held down. As he reached the door she saw him remove an envelope from the inside pocket of jacket and place it on the table by the door. Howard was still facing away so it was only Bernadette that saw. The door closed and Bernadette approached her husband to offer her comfort

"Howie are you ok?" she asked gently

"I'm fine" Howard insisted "Please Bernie I just need to be alone right now.."

And with that he headed to the bedroom.

"I'll be right here if you need me…" Bernadette called him as the door closed

Picking up the envelope on the table by the door she slipped it in between some books on the shelf in the lounge, she didn't know what it contained but now certainly wasn't the time to bring it up. The mood Howard was in she feared that he would destroy it and perhaps later regret it. Inside the bedroom Howard pulled a box from beneath the bed and lifted the lid. There inside were all the illusions that he had collected over the years. In the very bottom of the box wrapped in tissue paper was the cape that only minutes before he had denied remembering. Pulling it out Howard held it to his face feeling the fabric against his skin and smelling its old slightly musty scent. The memories of eighth as a child were etched firmly in his mind.

"Dad" he whispered as the tears began to fall once more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Penny clung to Jake's hand nervously as the sonographer spread the gel across her abdomen in preparation for her ultrasound and bit down on her lip as she began to run the transducer over her bump.

"Ok Penny I know you're anxious but please just try to relax" she said calmly

A few seconds later the room was filled with the sound of her baby's heartbeat and a grainy black and white picture appeared on the screen

"Is my baby ok?" Penny asked looking from the screen to the sonographer to begin with her facial expression wasn't giving anything away

"Everything looks fine" the sonographer replied now with a comforting smile "baby has a strong heartbeat I can't see anything irregular…"

"Oh God thank you so much!" Penny cried

"That's great news" Jake sighed relieved also

"Can I go home now?" Penny detested hospitals and didn't want to stay for a moment longer than was necessary.

"You'll have to wait for the doctor" the sonographer replied "she may want to keep you in overnight"

Penny couldn't imagine why that would be necessary. She had already had an ECG while she was in the ER to rule out any cardiac problems and her blood pressure had normalised. The doctor returned and Penny asked to be discharged

"Is there anyone at home that can take care of you?"

Penny bit her lip; Leonard wasn't due home until Sunday evening. She didn't want to impose on Howard and Bernadette again; Amy had mentioned something about visiting her mother, which left only Sheldon. She turned to Jake with pleading eyes

"Its ok doctor I can stay with Penny tonight" Jake said

Penny sighed with relief and mouthed the words 'thank you' to Jake while the doctor disappeared to go fetch her discharge papers. Half an hour later Jake and Penny were entering the apartment block on Los Robles Avenue.

"Are you positive you don't want to call Leonard?" Jake asked for the second time since leaving the hospital

Penny shook her head

"No he'll only worry and everything's fine now"

She could just imagine that he would insist on jumping straight in his car and driving back home immediately

"Looks like the elevator is out of order" Jake said observing the black and yellow stripped tape that was crisscrossed over the elevator door

Penny grinned remembering how Leonard's antics with the rocket fuel all those years ago had resulted in the elevator being permanently out of order

"The elevator has been out of order since before I moved in.." Penny informed Jake

"You live on the fourth floor right?"

Penny nodded in reply, Jake stepped forward and picked her up off her feet and began to carry her upstairs

"The doctor said you need to take things easy remember?" Jake reminded her

Penny didn't argue and remained silent until they reached her apartment where Jake set her down so she could unlock the door.

"Sorry about the mess" Penny apologised "I didn't have time to clean up before I went to work this morning"

It was a little white lie; in truth the apartment had been untidy for days. In the centre of the room stood the birthing tub minus the water which Penny had inflated the night before. She had been curious to try it out and Jake remarked that it was good Leonard had finally come round to the idea of the homebirth. Penny flopped down onto the couch and kicked off her pumps while Jake arranged the cushions behind her and then headed to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

"You have a great apartment" Jake said as he passed Penny a steaming mug of herbal tea and went on to tell her that his landlord was selling up and had given him a months' notice to move out

"You know my old apartment is still empty why don't I give the building managers number maybe you could set up a viewing?" Penny suggested

"I guess it's worth a try thanks Penny"

It was also the case that Sheldon was still looking for a new roommate, but as much as she was fond of Sheldon Penny wouldn't want to wish living with Sheldon on anyone, particularly as Amy still had her heart set on moving in. They both sipped their tea for a while lost in their own thoughts

"Can I ask you something Jake?" Penny eventually said

"Sure"

"What made you want to be a doula?"

For a brief moment Penny thought she could sense that Jake was a little uneasy with the question but then Jake put down his mug and started to tell her

"Well I trained as an EMT first and then one day I was called to a woman who'd gone into labour in a shopping mal. When we got to her she was already in advanced labour, we managed to get her into the ambulance but she wound up giving birth before we could get to the hospital. It was amazing, helping to bring a new life into the world… I'd never experienced anything like it…So I did some research on the Internet and found out about training to be a doula and the rest I guess you know…."

"Well Bernadette certainly thinks you're wonderful" Penny told him "And if I could afford you I'd totally want you as my doula as well.." and then felt herself blushing slightly

Across town Leonard was in his car on route home. There had been a flood at the hotel where the conference was taking place, consequently the remainder of the conference had been cancelled. He had wanted to surprise Penny so hadn't called to let her know that he would be driving home early. His route took him passed the Cheesecake Factory and as he went by he couldn't help but notice that Penny's red Volkswagen in the parking lot.

"That's strange" Leonard said to himself he was certain she had said they she wasn't working over the weekend having already worked four shifts during the week. Pulling his car into the parking lot he parked beside Penny's car and fetched the bouquet of red roses from the trunk that he had brought whilst driving back. Entering the restaurant he craned his neck as he tried to spot Penny, he couldn't see her and decided that she was probably in the kitchen. Sitting down at one the stools he set the bouquet down on the bar

"Hey Leonard"

Leonard looked round to see Kim one of the waitresses

"Oh hi Kim is Penny around?"

Kim frowned

"Leonard Penny's not here" she replied "Didn't she call you about what happened earlier?"

Kim could tell from the expression on Leonard's face that what she was saying was coming as a shock to him; why else would he have turned up at the restaurant with a bouquet of flowers unless he didn't know?

"Penny collapsed here at lunchtime her friend Jake the EMT was here and he took her to the hospital…"

Instantly Leonard grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and brought up Penny's number, but the call went straight to voicemail, Penny had turned off her phone at the hospital and had forgotten to turn it back on.

"I have to go…" Leonard breathed before darting out of the restaurant to his car leaving the roses behind on the bar

Leonard's instinct was to drive straight over to the hospital but he arrived only to be told that Penny had been discharged a couple of hours ago. Penny's phone was still off so he raced back home and took the stairs two at a time…

"So what about you Penny? How did you come to be in California when you grew up in Nebraska?" Jake asked

"I wanted to be an actress I had this dream of being a movie or soap star, it's all I've ever really wanted to do. But instead I wound up waitressing at the Cheesecake Factory, meeting Leonard and now…" Penny rubbed her belly with a forlorn look in her eyes "I was a lot younger than maybe I was silly and deluded to think my dream would actually work out…"

"I don't think you should give up on your dream Penny. Sure things will be different once you become a mom, but it doesn't mean you have to give up perusing your dream"

There was a short silence. Jake sensed that it might be a good time to change the subject

"Penny would you like me to show you some birthing positions that you can use in your tub?" he suggested

Glad of the change of topic Penny smiled and nodded and with Jake's help got into the tub. Penny had hired a big tub large enough to accommodate both her and Leonard, when the time came she hoped he would be agreeable to getting into the water with her.

"So if Leonard gets into the tub with you" Jake explained "you could try sitting with your back against him or you could get into a squatting position with your arms around Leonard's neck for support"

"Like this?" Penny turned over onto her hands and knees and put her arms around Jakes neck

One moment she was gazing into his dark brown eyes and in the next she had leant forward and brushed her lips against his. The second they touched she felt a surge of electricity running up her spine. Realising what was happening she pulled away.

"Oh God Jake dammit I'm sorry I don't know what came over me…" she blurted feeling ashamed for letting herself get carried away in the moment.

The sound of the door being unlocked caused them both to look around. It opened and there wide eyed and out of breath from running up the stairs with his asthma inhaler in his hand stood Leonard.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Howie?"

Bernadette tapped lightly on the bedroom door. Several hours had passed by and Howard still hadn't emerged. Hearing no response from her husband Bernadette pushed open the door and stepped inside. The window drapes were drawn so the room was in complete darkness; it took a few a seconds for her eyes to adjust to the dark before she could make out Howard's figure lying on the bed

"I thought you might be hungry so I fixed you something to eat" Bernadette said setting the plate of sandwiches down "Howie are you awake?"

"I'm not hungry" came a muffled reply from beneath the bed sheets

Bernadette perched herself on the edge of the bed and stroked Howard's back

"Honey do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently

"Not really"

"Please Howie I'm worried about you…."

Howard rolled over and switched on the bedside lamp and Bernadette waited patiently for him to speak

"You know I used to dream about the day when my dad would finally come home… how he would apologise and I would somehow just be able to forgive him despite everything… and then we'd hug and miraculously mom would forgive him too and I'd have my dad back…"

"Oh Howie" Bernadette said

"Nothing ever turns out the way you dreamt it though does it?"

For a brief second Bernadette considered telling Howard about the envelope that his father had left behind but what Howard said next stopped her

"Bernie I never want to see him again"

Bernadette took hold of Howard's hand

"It was one hell of a shock for you today honey, but maybe after some time you'll…."

"No"

"No what?"

"No I'm not going to change my mind he's dead to me…"

Bernadette was taken aback by Howard's reaction

"All I saw tonight was a pathetic old man who couldn't even come up with an explanation as to why he'd come back…. or why he left in the first place"

Without thinking Bernadette spoke

"Did you give him a chance?"

Howard's responded by shooting her a look of utter contempt

"Who's side are you on Bernie?" he demanded

"Yours I'm always on your side" Bernadette insisted

"Really?" Howard huffed and lay back down pulling the sheet up over him "I'm really tired Bernie I just wanna sleep now….."

Bernadette got up from the bed, there was little point in trying to talk to him while he was in this mood, and she only hoped that a new day would bring a fresh perspective on what had happened.

"I love you Howard Wolowitz" Bernadette said standing in the doorway and waited for a response

The response didn't come.

"Leonard you're back" Penny said glimpsing the shock in Jake's eyes, had he arrived home a second or two earlier he would have walked right in on their kiss.

Leonard was out of breath and lost for words. Lifting his inhaler to his mouth he took two long puffs before he was finally able to speak

"Penny honey why didn't you tell me? What happened? Are you ok? Why were you working today?"

The questions were all coming at once but Penny had anticipated that Leonard would react in this way

"Sweetie I didn't want to worry you" she answered honestly "I fainted at work and Jake took me to the hospital but everything is fine I promise you…"

Leonard took another puff from his inhaler

"Right Jake?" Penny looked towards Jake for him to back her up

Leonard turned to look at Jake

"Yeah Penny was pushing herself a bit too hard at work….. and her blood pressure was a little low they ran and ECG and an ultrasound at the hospital…"

"But everything turned out to be fine" Penny cut in

Leonard was relieved to hear the positive news but was still perturbed as to why Penny hadn't called him.

"That's great honey I'm so pleased you're ok, but you really should have called…." he began slipping his arm around her and kissing her "Nothing is more important than you and the little one"

Seeing Leonard kissing Penny Jake pulled his jacket on, this was his cue to leave.

"I should be going now" he told them both

Leonard extended a handshake and thanked Jake emphatically

"Thanks so much for taking care of Penny Jake, I really owe you one, maybe we could go for a beer sometime?"

"Sure" Jake answered

As he was leaving the apartment he could hear Leonard questioning Penny again as to why she had taken on extra shifts. His head was spinning as he descended the first flight of stairs down to the third floor. As he turned the corner by the elevator he came face to face with a young lady with long dark hair and glasses wearing high heel shoes, upon seeing him she stumbled falling in Jake's direction.

"Are you ok mam?" Jake asked

It was then he could smell the alcohol on her breath clearly she had had a bit too much to drink

"Oh yes I'm fine now" Amy replied gazing into his eyes her words slightly slurred

"Do you live here? Can I maybe help you home?"

With that Amy was doubled over laughing

"Do I live here?" she giggled repeated the statement and then added "Oh God that's hysterical!"

Jake couldn't for one second understand what was making her laugh so hard, but now at least he remembered who she was having encountered her with Penny in the supermarket a few weeks earlier

"You're Amy right? Penny's friend?"

Amy burped and giggled again

"That's me, technically she's my bestie although I don't think the feeling's mutual…."

"Ok well Amy maybe we should think about getting you home now…"

Jake tried to link his arm with Amy to steer her towards the stairwell but Amy resisted

"Has anyone ever told you Jake that you're smokin HOT?" she said matter of factly whilst prodding Jake on the chest with her finger

"No I can't say …."

"Well Bernadette and Penny think you're HOT and guess what? sooo do I!..."

Amy swayed and began to lose her balance once again

"Whoa steady there Amy…" Jake managed to catch her just before she fell onto the floor. Ash he helped her up without any warning Amy flung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips firmly to his.

"Amy .." gently Jake attempted to disentangled himself from the woman who had quite literally thrown herself at him

As Amy's lips left his she turned her head to see Sheldon standing in the stairwell holding his laundry basket. Saturday night was after all laundry night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Amy"

Sheldon held out a glass of water containing dissolvable aspirin as Amy groaned and opened her eyes to find herself fully clothed curled up in Sheldon's spot on the couch with a blanket tucked around her. Her head was thumping with the effects of a hangover.

"You should drink this" Sheldon said

As she became aware of her surroundings, a hazy recollection of the events of the previous evening started to come back to her. Doing shots at the bar, heading over to the apartment to confront Sheldon, running into Jake in the hall, kissing him and then being caught in the act by her boyfriend. Amy took the glass and began to sip while Sheldon stood in silence watching her.

"Maybe I should go" Amy said wondering when or if Sheldon was going to bring up her indiscretion with Jake

"Ok" Sheldon replied flatly

'_Perhaps he really doesn't care'_ Amy thought sadly to herself feeling as though she might burst into tears at any second. She was aware that Sheldon wasn't one for fighting, but in this instance she really wished that would get mad at her, yell, scream, throw stuff anything that might show her that he was bothered by what had happened; at least then she would know that he cared.

Amy set the empty glass down on the coffee table and slowly got to her feet feeling wobbly on her feet, Sheldon wandered over to his desk switched on his laptop and began to type

"So I'll see you then" Amy paused and looked back at her boyfriend as she reached the door

"Sure whatever" Sheldon answered without looking away from the screen

Amy watched as Sheldon continued to alternate between typing and thumbing through the pile of papers on his desk

"I'm so sorry Sheldon" she said and waited for a few seconds more to see if there would be even the slightest reaction from him. There was none. With a heart full of sadness and regret Amy left.

Penny was awoken in bed by Leonard gently brushing away the lose strands of her hair from her face; she opened her eyes to see him in his red bathrobe smiling down at her.

"Morning honey I made breakfast for you" he announced setting down a tray with scrambled eggs and coffee "And after you've finished I'm gonna run you a bath so you can have a nice long soak in the tub and then you're going to spend the rest of the day with your feet up while I take care of you…."

"Thank you" Penny replied instantly feeling tears welling in her eyes

The fact that Leonard was being so kind and adorable towards her was just magnifying her guilt over what had happened with Jake the evening before. Penny stared down at the contents of the breakfast tray which Leonard had so lovingly prepared and felt sick to the stomach.

"Are you ok sweetheart? You were very quiet last night and you look a little pale this morning?" Leonard asked sitting down on the bed beside her.

"Honey what is it?" he gently coaxed "Whatever it is you're worried about you can tell me"

Keeping her kiss with Jake secret was tearing her up inside and she felt she no longer had a choice but to tell the truth. Penny picked up the single flower on the breakfast tray and touched the delicate petals

"Leonard something happened yesterday, but you have to know it was just the one time…." She said deliberately emphasising her words

Leonard didn't like at all where what Penny was saying seemed to be heading and steeled himself for a thunderbolt

"I kissed Jake" she blurted out "but you have to believe me it meant nothing and as soon it happened I realised it was a total mistake…."

Penny reached for Leonard's hand but he snatched it away

"I don't believe this Penny, how could you?"

"I know it was a terrible and stupid thing to do but I promise you it didn't mean anything it was just a heat of the moment thing…it will never happen again… and I am so so sorry Leonard"

Leonard jumped off the bed and hurriedly got dressed

"Leonard please can't we just talk about this?" Penny pleaded

"Just tell me why Penny? Why do this after I've done nothing but my best for you and this baby!" Penny saw Leonard's eye flashing with anger and it scared her

"I don't know why" Penny answered

"Oh so you just go around kissing other guys for no reason while I'm away?" Leonard snapped

The room fell silent and Penny could feel her heart pounding in her chest

"Are you in love with him?" Leonard whispered fearful of what Penny might say in reply

"No! no of course not I love you" Penny insisted reaching out for him again this time sending the breakfast tray and its contents crashing to the floor

"Then why Penny? Why would you risk everything we have?"

"Are you breaking up with me?" Penny's voice trembled; Leonard seemed to be insinuating a break up was imminent

"Just tell me why" Leonard repeated

It was a good question and one which Leonard deserved to have an answer for. Deep down inside Penny knew the reason

"Because Jake made me feel good about myself…. he made me realise that I should believe in myself and that I shouldn't give up on my dream of being an actress….. I love you Leonard and I want this baby, but my dream of having my own career didn't just go away the day I fell pregnant….I need more than to just be a mom and your girlfriend….. and I need you to support me in that…"

Leonard narrowed his eyes

"So I'm not enough for you? That's what you're saying…"

"No no that's not it at all you don't understand…" Penny could feel everything rapidly slipping away

Leonard shook his head in mild disgust he had finished dressing and was now standing before her in his jeans and a t-shirt

"It always has to be about you doesn't it Penny?"

Tears spilled down Penny's cheeks

"I'm so sorry Leonard, please you have to forgive me?" she begged

"Forgive you Penny? I have to forgive you? I can't even bare to look at you right now" Leonard responded coldly

Penny watched in desperation as Leonard stuffed some of his belongings into a rucksack and headed to the door

"Leonard! Where are you going? Please don't leave me" Penny chased after him only to witness him disappearing out the door slamming it so hard the wall vibrated. Feeling her heart break Penny broke down and sobbed on the couch until she reached the point of complete exhaustion and the cushion that she had buried her face in was wet through with her tears. Outside in the hall Leonard waited anxiously with one hand on the door knob listening to Penny's sobs, it took all his strength not to go straight back inside, scoop her into his arms and tell her that he had forgiven her. Hearing her breaking her heart crying was like torture for him, but somehow he just couldn't and stopped himself. Not this time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Penny you really need to try to eat something" Bernadette said with a worried expression on her face and placed a breakfast plate of poached eggs and toast on the coffee table. Leonard had called her the evening before and asked her if she would go over to check in on her. Despite everything he couldn't stop himself from loving her.

"I'm not hungry" Penny replied and pulled the blanket that was covering her as she lay on the couch tighter around her

"Honey I'm worried about you; you need to eat for the baby" Bernadette reminded her gently

Reluctantly Penny sat up and fed herself a few forkfuls but it tasted like cardboard in her mouth, she was grateful that Bernadette had come over but all she really wanted was to be left alone.

"Have you spoken with Leonard?" Bernadette enquired

Penny swallowed the food in her mouth and pushed away the plate

"No"

Bernadette sighed Leonard had not wanted to talk to her about what had happened while they were on the phone

"Do you think you should maybe try calling him again?"

Penny was quick to shake her head

"He won't listen to me" she replied sadly "Bernadette you didn't see the way he looked at me, he's never going to forgive me…."

"Oh I don't know maybe he just needs a little time and he'll come round" Bernadette responded hopefully

Lately it seemed that all the people around her that she loved and cared about were unhappy. Howard still hadn't recovered from his encounter with his father, even though he insisted that he was fine. Even Amy and Sheldon appeared to not be talking to each other for reasons that had yet to be revealed. Penny lay back down and turned her face away. At that moment there was a knock on the door

"Tell whoever that is to go away" Penny said as Bernadette got up to answer it

"Penny there's someone here to see you" Bernadette informed her

"I don't want to see…" Penny rolled over and looked up "Dad?"

There looking down at his daughter looking vulnerable, almost childlike on the couch was her father Wyatt. He had taken an overnight flight from Nebraska to LA.

"I know what you're gonna say Dad, that I've really screwed things up this time…believe me you can't make me feel any worse than I do already…"

"Oh so you've added mind reading now to your list of many talents? Sweetheart I came here because you needed me, no other reason" Wyatt told her and wrapped his arms around her so that he could embrace her tightly

"Daddy I love him" Penny wept her body shaking with each sob "but I know that he hates me now…"

"No no sweetie that's not true" Wyatt tried to sooth her he gently cupped Penny's face in his hands and spoke to her directly

"Honey somehow we're going to work this out ok? I'm going to talk to Leonard" he told her firmly wanting her to believe in what he saying

For the first time in days it seemed as though there might be a tiny glimmer of hope for Penny's relationship with Leonard. Right at that moment she would do anything in the world to have him back.

"I'm going to be working later this evening so you will need to get a ride home with either Howard or Raj tonight" Leonard told Sheldon as they descended the stairs that morning

Sheldon didn't respond he had seemed distant and lost in his own thoughts for several days now. Since moving back into the apartment after the break up with Penny Leonard had noticed Amy's continued absence.

"Sheldon did you hear what I said?" Leonard said

"Yes I did" Sheldon responded

By now they had reached the lobby and although Leonard had enough of his own problems to deal with, he was after all Sheldon's best friend and there was clearly something bothering him.

"Sheldon is something wrong? Do you want to talk about it?" Leonard asked

"I'm ok" Sheldon answered

Leonard narrowed his eyes he was already certain he knew Amy was involved in some way, what he didn't know yet were the circumstances of their apparent break up

"Ok I'm gonna take a guess here and say it has something to do with Amy" Leonard stated

Sheldon seemed surprised that Leonard had been so quick to work it out; for Leonard is was fairly obvious Amy had not only not been over to the apartment since the week before, but they hadn't been communicating online either.

"Leonard I appreciate that as my best friend social protocol dictates that you should offer an ear when it comes to my concerns and I thank you, but I have no desire to talk about Amy Farrah Fowler except to say that Penny wasn't the only one who was unable to control herself around Jake last Saturday evening…."

Leonard's mouth fell open at the revelation

"Are you saying what I think you're saying? Amy hit on Jake?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it Leonard…" Sheldon reminded him

Just then the main door to the block opened and a man in overalls entered carrying a tool box and announced that he was here to repair the elevator. Leonard had spent weeks calling the building manager explaining that Penny was pregnant and how it was essential for the elevator to be fixed. Now seeing the workman set about his work was a painful reminder that in a few weeks their baby would be arriving into the world.

"In a way it's kind of like an end of an era" Sheldon stated as he climbed into the passenger seat of Leonard's car and fastened his seatbelt "When you think of the hundreds of conversations that we've had over the years while climbing those stairs… of course we can still use the stairs but somehow I don't think it will be the same…" Sheldon stared sadly out the window "I don't like change Leonard"

Leonard didn't respond to Sheldon's statement, but was in no doubt that he agreed. Everything around him was changing and so far he didn't like any of it.

Bernadette pointed the remote control at the TV and flicked through the channels, she had only officially been on maternity leave for a few days but already she was starting to get restless. Feeling totally unimpressed with the endless stream of reality TV and chat shows she decided to abandon the TV entirely and browse through the latest issue of the American Journal of Microbiology, but no matter how hard she tried to focus her attention away her eyes kept being drawn to the book shelf and thoughts of Howard's father's letter that was still sandwiched between the books. Out of sight, but by no means out of mind. As she ate her soup at lunchtime her eyes wandered back again to the book shelf. A few minutes later the envelope had been retrieved from its hiding place and was sitting on the table, Bernadette studied the writing on the front as she mopped up the last of the soup with her bread roll.

"No it wouldn't be right" she told herself as she ran her finger across the back of the envelope opening it slightly at the edge "It would be totally wrong…."

After lunch she went for a stroll around the park to take in some fresh air and try again to convince herself that she should hide the envelope away somewhere where Howard would never find it, at least until one day when maybe he was ready and had changed his mind.

"But what if it's to late by then…." Bernadette thought

It was no surprise to her that after twenty years Howard still felt so much anger towards his father, but what she couldn't understand was his unwillingness to at least hear him out. From the way Howard had reacted the day his father had showed up she was certain that there was a part of him that did care and want an explanation as to why he left.

With trembling hands Bernadette carefully ripped opened the envelope, removed the letter from inside and began to read….


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Are you sure you're going to be ok waiting in the car?" Wyatt asked his daughter

They had just parked up in the parking lot at Caltech University. Wyatt had already considered the fact that this probably wasn't the ideal place to talk with Leonard, but Penny was so upset he didn't want to waste a minute longer by waiting for him to return from work.

"I'll be fine Dad I promise"

Wyatt kissed Penny's forehead and Penny thanked him again. Although their father daughter relationship had been strained at times, right now she didn't know what she would do without him. Sat in the passenger seat the waiting was torture for Penny, she closed her eyes rubbed her belly and wished hard that her father would be able to convince Leonard to give her another chance. Looking across the parking lot she thought she spotted Amy sitting in her car, straining her eyes a little she realised that she was correct, it was indeed Amy. Getting out of the car Penny ventured her way across the parking lot in the direction of her friend's car. It was only as she got closer that she could see Amy was crying as she banged the steering wheel with frustration. Such was her preoccupation that Amy did not see Penny approach

"Ames what is it?" Penny asked as she opened the car door

With that Amy burst into floods of tears, something told Penny that this was something more than just car trouble. It was more like Sheldon trouble.

When Wyatt got inside the university he asked for directions and then hurried off down the hall headed towards the experiment physics department. He found Leonard in his lab wearing goggles apparently in the middle of an experiment with a laser.

"Leonard I'm sorry to disturb you at work son" Wyatt said

Leonard looked up and was shocked at the sight of his girlfriend's father in his place of work; his immediate thought was that something had happened to Penny and the baby.

"Is Penny ok?" he asked taking of the goggles that were covering his own glasses

"Not really Leonard, she's tired and emotional over what's happened, that' why I'm here"

"Oh" Leonard said as it became apparent that Penny was not in any imminent danger health with regard to the pregnancy "Did she send you to come talk with me?"

"No it was my idea, Penny called home on Sunday and I decided to catch a flight out here to help you guys work things out"

Leonard sighed

"Well that's nice of you Wyatt but I don't think Penny and I CAN work things out this time, don't get me wrong I will support in the terms of my responsibility to our baby but so as far as Penny and I go…" Leonard's voice trailed off "I'm not sure there is a me and Penny anymore"

"Leonard I know Penny did a stupid thing, and it must have really hurt you to find out but believe me she is so very sorry and she loves you so much…my little girl is out there breaking her heart over what's happened.." Wyatt sounded choked up as he finished his sentence

"Penny's here?" Leonard asked

"Yeah she's waiting in the car; she wanted to come down here with me"

Leonard turned away and caught a glimpse of the photo of him and Penny at the comic book store costume party when he had gone as Albert Einstein and penny as a sexy cop, just below was a picture of their last baby scan.

"I'm never going to be good enough for her Wyatt. Even if she doesn't have real feelings for Jake, if it's not him then it will be someone else… if I'm with Penny it's like a ticking time bomb just waiting to blow up in my face"

Wyatt shook his head in disagreement

"No that's not true Leonard"

There were a few moments of silence between the two men while each contemplated their own thoughts

"Penny told me that sometimes she feels that you don't encourage her with her acting…"

Leonard frowned now it was his turn to disagree

"No I may have suggested a few times that she consider going back to school to get her diploma so she has something to fall back on other than acting, to be honest I thought now that we're having a baby..."

"That she'd give up on her dream?..." Wyatt finished his sentence

"No not exactly"

"Sounds like this may well all be down to one huge misunderstanding and let's face it where misunderstandings are concerned I think you guys wrote the book…"

"Yeah and probably the screenplay for the feature length movie as well" Leonard added

Despite the pain he was feeling Leonard couldn't help but smile at Wyatt's insightful observation

Wyatt walked around the lab bench so that he was stood directly beside Leonard and placed a hand on his arm

"Look son I don't expect you to say everything's ok, Penny betrayed your trust and that's a big deal, but will you at least agree to coming up to the apartment tonight to speak with her?" Wyatt held his breath while he waited for Leonard to respond

"Ok… but I'm not promising anything Wyatt" he added

"Thanks Leonard I really appreciate it"

Wyatt shook hands with Leonard and headed back to the car, feeling pleased that at least he had made some headway towards reconciliation between the couple. When he got back to the car Penny was inside with a girl whom he had not met before sat in on the backseat.

"Well?" Penny pounced as soon as the car door opened

"Leonard has agreed to come over this evening so that the two of you can talk" Wyatt answered as he put on his seatbelt

Penny beamed and through her arms around her father

"Thank you so much dad!" she exclaimed

"Sweetheart try not to get your hopes up, it's still early days"

Her father's sobering words caused Penny to sink back into her seat, but at least she could take some comfort in the fact that Leonard hadn't completed rejected her. Penny introduced Amy to her father and explained that her car wouldn't start so she had offered to give her a ride home. While she had been waiting for her father she had had talked to Amy who had told her about her kissing Jake and how Sheldon was now giving her the silent treatment. She had driven over to the university to try to talk to him but had had a panicked and chanced her mid. She hated to admit it but she felt that she had blown it with him; her plan to make him jealous had totally backfired.

"Dad are you ok?" Penny asked as she watched her father reach for the ignition he looked pale and had tiny beads of sweat forming on his forehead

"Sure honey I'm just a little tired from the flight" he replied "You look a little tired yourself maybe you should close your eyes and have a little nap…"

The mere suggestion of tiredness made Penny's eyelids start to feel heavy; she hadn't had a decent night's sleep for days. Wyatt pulled the car out into the late morning traffic and began to head back towards the apartment. Sat in the back Amy stared sadly out of the window at the passing scenery, there were so many places in this city that held memories for her and as they passed the coffee shop where she and Sheldon had had their first date a tear rolled down her cheek. Sheldon Cooper was the man for her, but she needed love and intimacy now, something which he had never been able to give her. Feeling the car lurch suddenly to the left Amy turned her head away from the window to see Penny asleep in the front passenger seat and Wyatt slumped over the steering wheel groaning and clutching his chest. The car began to speed up and Amy realised that Wyatt's foot had become jammed down on the accelerator. Without hesitating Amy unfastened her seat belt, leant forward between the two front seats and grabbed at the steering wheel with one hand and tugged at the handbrake with the other to try and slow the now out of control car. A second later the car mounted the sidewalk narrowly missing a female jogger and collided with the front window of a hardware store smashing completely through the glass. The jolt of mounting the sidewalk had awoken Penny and she screamed at the sight of her father beside her.

"Daddy!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Penny's first instinct was to try to get out of the car; she appeared to be uninjured and could move but discovered that the right side of the car was up against the wall of the store preventing the door from opening. Both her father and Amy were unconscious, Wyatt's head was resting on the steering wheel while Amy had slipped down in the foot well of the rear seat.

"Please somebody help us!" Penny tried to scream but the shock that was gripping her made it sound more like a whisper

As she twisted round in her seat outside in the street she could see a crowd beginning to gather, a man held a cell phone to ear presumably calling 911. At that second some of the store shelving and part of the ceiling collapsed sending tins of paint and tools crashing down onto the car, now they were completely trapped. Penny tried to scream again and this time she found her voice and let out a piercing cry for help

"Somebody please help us!"

Looking at her father she could see could see his shoulders moving with each breath that he took, at least he was still breathing although it sounded laboured.

"Dad please wake up dad" Penny begged as she gently shook her father

There was a groan from the backseat as Amy began to regain consciousness, Penny twisted her neck to look down at her friend, her glasses had fallen off and her hair was covering most of her face, she could see a trickle of blood that was running down the side of her head leaving a deep red stain on the seat.

"Amy are you ok? please please wake up …." tears streamed down Penny's cheeks

Amy continued to groan; then opened her eyes and looked around her

"Penny" she moaned

"Ames just hold on help is coming, please try to stay awake sweetie"

"Tell Sheldon I'm sorry…" Amy groaned in pain "Tell him…. that I love him"

Penny had turned her attention back to her father and was gently rubbing his back while assuring him that everything was going to be ok

"You can tell Dr. Wackadoodle yourself Ames.…"

"Don't call him that…" Amy said and winced again with the intense pain in her head

In the distance Penny could just about make out the sound of sirens approaching, she closed her eyes looked up at the roof of the car and mouthed the words 'thank God'

"It's gonna be ok Dad help is here now, please don't leave me Daddy…"

From between the gaps in the debris that had fallen on the car Penny could see the lights from the flashlights of the emergency services personnel as they got nearer

"Help!" she screamed again "Please help!"

A few miles away Jake was sitting parked in his ambulance with his partner Matt while waiting to receive an emergency call.

"You want some?" his partner waved a slice of pizza under his nose

Jake wrinkled his nose

"No thanks"

"What's wrong with you? You've been in a weird mood for days, why can't you just snap out of it bud?" Matt took a long gulp from his soda can and belched

"Nothing's wrong I just rather not end up with a middle age spread before I'm middle aged" Jake replied

"Are you kidding? I'm in tip top condition" Matt said sitting up straight and sucking in his stomach

A call started to come in over the radio

"Yeah you keep telling yourself that…" Jake replied as he picked up the radio receiver

"Go ahead"

They listened while the dispatcher relayed the details of the road traffic accident that they were being sent to attend. Jake put on the siren and steered the ambulance out into the traffic, Matt belched again

"Man you're disgusting" Jake mumbled under his breath "No wonder don't get past the second date …"

It was lunchtime and Raj poked his head around the door of Leonard's lab

"Hey Leonard you wanna come to lunch with me an Howard?" he asked

Leonard briefly looked up from his experiment

"No thanks not today" he replied

"Oh come on dude, what the point of moping in here over Penny? Come and hang out with us for a while…"

"I'm not moping I'm working" Leonard answered in an irritated tone and turned his attention back to his work

"Yeah you are dude, why don't you do as all a favour and just sort things out with Penny?"

Leonard switched the laser off and turned to stare at his friend

"Penny and I have broken up for good this time, this isn't some school yard spat, she kissed another guy and made me look like a complete idiot… sure it's sad but lots of couples that are separated raise children it's no big deal…"

"No big deal?" Raj exclaimed "Can you even hear yourself? You're willing to walk away everything you have with Penny because of one mistake for which as I understand it she has apologised for over and over…"

"You wouldn't understand Raj" Leonard interjected "And not to be rude but it's really none of your business"

"Yeah well what I'm seeing is two of my best throwing away their relationship…." Raj was beginning to anger at Leonard "It's not like Leonard Hofstadter has ever made a mistake? Like I don't know kissing another girl when you were dating someone else …" he added sarcastically

Raj was referring to the time a couple of years ago when Leonard was in a long distance relationship with his sister Priya and had kissed a girl he met in the comic book store. It was only a kiss but it had very nearly led to more.

"That was different Priya and I were not having a baby" Leonard tried to defend himself "And she was sleeping with her ex-boyfriend at the time"

Raj laughed

"Oh so that makes it ok then? Perhaps things would be a bit more evened out with Penny if you made out a bit with Alex"

Alex Jensen was Sheldon's assistant who for a long while had had a thing for Leonard. It was a foolish suggestion that Raj by no means meant literally, but he was so angry and frustrated with his friend.

"But you did the right thing and you came clean with my sister, just like Penny came clean with you. You know at the time you claimed to have loved my sister but you still came really close to sleeping with another girl…."

"That's enough Raj!" Leonard raised his voice "Now please can you just leave me alone I have important work to do"

Feeling defeated Raj wandered slowly in the direction of the lab door and paused to have one final say

"For the record I never thought you loved my sister, not truly. I think we all knew that you were still in love with Penny… I never thought you guys would end like this.…"

After Raj left Leonard kicked the trash can sending its contents scattering over the floor. He caught a glimpse again of the photo of him and Penny

"Dammit Penny!" he shouted to the empty room


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

For Penny it seemed to take an eternity for the fire-fighters to shift the fallen debris sufficiently to enable the paramedics to reach the car and its injured passengers.

"Please help us" by now Penny 's voice had become hoarse from the number of times she had called for help and by the time a face appeared at the window on the driver's side she had begun to hyperventilate.

"Its ok Mam we're gonna get you out" she heard a calm and authoritative voice say

The hyperventilation was making her feel dizzy and her surroundings were starting to distort and spin

"Please just help my Dad and my friend…I'm ok" Penny said between breaths

The paramedic looked over his shoulder

"Jake I need some help over here" he called out

Penny heard the name but in her haze didn't make the connection. Jake, who had been attending to one of the cashiers who had sustained a minor leg injury made his way over to the car. At first he only saw Wyatt, Penny had managed to pull him away from the steering wheel and laid him back onto the seat

"We have three casualties, looks like the lady on the backseat has sustained a head trauma can you tend to her first" he instructed

Jake forced open the backdoor of the car and realised it was Amy; it was only then that he saw the back of Penny's head her blond hair in a tangled mess.

"Penny"

"Jake?" Penny said without turning around

"Sweetheart are you ok? Are you hurt? Do you have any pain in your neck or back?" Jake asked as he tended to Amy, her breathing had become shallow and her pulse was erratic "have you sustained any injury to your abdomen that may have affected the baby?"

"No we're ok I was wearing my seatbelt please just help Amy and my Dad…." Penny pleaded

Leonard had been insistant on showing Penny the correct way to wear a car seat belt whilst pregnant. Now, unbeknown to him he had probably saved the life his unborn child.

"Just try to stay calm honey, take deep breaths, can you do that?"

Penny nodded as the tears and mucus from her nose continued to cascade down her face, she was desperately aware that there were four lives in the car, but she was assured by the fact that she had just felt her baby kick.

"Good girl we're gonna have you all out of here real soon" Jake promised as he fixed an oxygen mask to Amy's face

Penny watched as Matt who had now joined Jake tended to her father in the front seat

"Jake I want Leonard!" she wept

"I know you do honey don't you worry we're gonna get him for you"

By now he had inserted a cannula and IV line into the back of Amy's hand and had used one of the the car's grab handle to position it above her and had also fitted her with a cervical collar. For a moment Jake came out of the car to converse with Matt.

"She's in a serious condition we need to get her out of here and to the hospital ASAP" he told him "what about the father?"

"I can't be certain until we run an ECG but I think he's had an MI" Matt answered

Penny heard the exchange but didn't know what they meant by MI

"What's happening?" she cried with desperation

By now two more paramedics had arrived and were assisting Matt in moving Wyatt and Amy from the car and onto waiting gurneys. Jake leant down

"Penny we think your dad may have suffered a heart attack"

"No…" the words 'heart attack' sent Penny into waves of panic

"Penny sweetheart you need to try and stay calm, I know it's hard but you need to think about the baby…"

"Leonard… Leonard…." Penny repeated

Jake noticed that Penny's purse was lying in the foot well picking it up he found her cell phone

"Its ok just take deep breaths" he told her again and reached out to hold her hand

"I want to marry him" Penny blurted out, unsure of where what she had just said had come from, the accident had really shaken her and brought the fragility and preciousness of life into sharp focus.

"He's one lucky guy" Jake said

"We both are" Penny breathed although Jake did not hear

The phone had begun to ring at the other end the words 'Calling Leonard' had appeared on the screen accompanied by a photo of him wearing his recycle t-shirt. The phone continued to ring and after several rings went to voicemail. Right at that moment Leonard had just finished taking his frustrations out by kicking the contents of his trash can around his lab and ripping the picture of him and Penny from the wall. Such was his rage that he didn't even feel his cell phone vibrating in his pocket.

"Call Sheldon…" Penny breathed as another paramedic began to lift her from the car; she had started to feel dizzy once more and rested her head on his shoulder. Quickly Jake scrolled through Penny's contacts and found Sheldon's number. Sheldon answered within two rings.

"Sheldon …. please don't hang up its Jake."

Bernadette pulled her car into a parking spot, looked up at the house that she was outside and once again checked that she had the right address.

"This must be it" she said out loud

As she made her way up the path towards the front door she formed the impression that this was a tight knit suburban community where everybody knew each other's business, she was conscious of being watched by a man stood on his driveway washing his car with a hose pipe staring at her. Bernadette rang the doorbell and stood back. The neighbour was still staring at her so she smiled politely and said good afternoon.

"Yes can I help you?"

The door opened only partially due to the security chain

"Joseph its Bernadette, Howard's wife"

There was a clinking sound as Howard's father removed the chain from the door and then opened it fully.

"Bernadette" Joseph said in surprise

"Is this a bad time?" Bernadette enquired noting the fact that it was afternoon and he was still wearing his bathrobe

"No not at all, would you like to come in?"

Joseph stepped aside to allow Bernadette to enter into the hall

"You'll have to excuse the mess…I haven't exactly been doing much cleaning recently…"

Bernadette followed her father in law into the lounge. The first thing she noticed were the photographs of Howard at various ages on the wall, the most recent was that of him in his NASA uniform, it looked to be a clipping from a newspaper which he had had framed. The room smelt musty and all the furniture looked worn. Everywhere there were piles of books, one side of the lounge was completely taken up by a shelf that reached all the way to the ceiling.

"Can I get you something to drink? Tea maybe?" Joseph offered "I'd offer to fix you something to eat but I haven't been to the grocery store for a few days…"

"I'm fine I already ate thank you, but a tea would be nice" Bernadette answered

She waited for a few minutes while Joseph was out in the kitchen preparing the tea, but then decided to follow him in. The kitchen was equally as untidy with at least three days' worth of dirty dishes still in the sink. On the kitchen table lay about a dozen different pill bottles, Bernadette spotted them immediately but didn't feel it was her place to ask about them.

"Joseph you should know Howard doesn't know that I'm here"

Joseph sighed as he poured the tea

"I guessed as much"

There was a short silence while Joseph finished making the tea

"So do you and Howard observe the Jewish holidays?" he asked as he handed Bernadette her cup

Bernadette blushed slightly she had not worn her cross necklace that day

"Actually I'm Catholic" she told him "But Howard still attends synagogue from time to time, so does his mother…"

Now Bernadette felt awkward for bringing up Howard's mother

"How is Susan?" Joseph asked it was a name he hadn't said out loud for many years now

Bernadette wasn't exactly sure how best to answer, but after a few brief moments decided to answer with the truth

"She's lonely and she suffers with bad health a lot of the time. She thinks the world of Howard though and is way to over protective of him, but Howard thinks the world of her too. They have this slightly crazy relationship where they yell at each other all the time, but beneath it all they really love each other"

Hearing this Joseph looked sad; Bernadette suggested that they go back out to the lounge to sit down while they finished their tea

"Does it bother you that Howard married somebody who wasn't Jewish?" Bernadette asked as she sat down on the couch

"Bernadette you're beautiful and you're kind and most of all I know that you love my son, how could I possibly mind?" he said while patting her hand

From below the coffee table Joseph pulled out a photo album and began to show Bernadette, eventually he came to pictures of Howard's high school graduation

"You were there" Bernadette said as a statement rather than a question

"Yes"

Bernadette had already known after Sheldon had read the letter that he had sent Howard on his 18th birthday and had revealed its contents to her and their friends.

"You're reading Jules Verne from the Earth to the Moon?" she exclaimed pointing at the book she had just noticed on the coffee table

"I've read it many times"

Bernadette smiled happily, it was one of Howard's favourite books as well, he often read parts of it to her while they were in bed. At that moment the baby began to kick making Bernadette jump slightly

"Ooh baby.."

"Are you ok Bernadette?" Joseph asked with concern

"Yeah I'm fine the baby's just practicing some football at the moment…" she answered rubbing her belly

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"No we wanted it to be a surprise… here would you like to feel"

Bernadette took Joseph's hand and pressed it to her belly, instantly Joseph's eyes lit up

"It's a boy, the first born in the Wolowitz family are always boys…" he told her and then chucked with glee as the baby kicked again

He then looked up and his eyes met with Bernadette's, she had been in his home for almost an hour now and yet she still hadn't asked the one question he would have thought she would. Now he could see it her eyes, she wanted to know

"You want to know why I left don't you?"

Bernadette didn't need to say yes or nod in reply, her eyes told him yes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Leonard was sat at his lab bench staring down at the photo of the baby scan when Sheldon entered the lab. Such was his state that he didn't even do his triple knock before entering

"Leonard Amy and Penny have been hurt…" he garbled

At first the words didn't penetrate Leonard's consciousness he could see Sheldon's lips moving but the words weren't making any sense.

"Leonard are you listening to me? Amy and Penny have been in an accident" Sheldon repeated "You have to drive me to the hospital"

"Penny's hurt?" Leonard eventually managed to say

"That's what I said Leonard" Sheldon was irritated by the delay he hadn't even made reference to the relationship agreement clause on boo boos and ouchies, he was acting purely out of the the love and affection that deep down he did feel for Amy.

At that second Raj entered the lab, he had been reflecting on his earlier conversation with Leonard and had started to feel that maybe he had over stepped the line and wanted to set things straight. Sheldon was quick to pounce on his friend.

"Raj you have to drive me to the hospital" Sheldon ordered immediately

"What? The hospital? Why?"

Raj's immediate thought was that this was one of Sheldon's imaginary medical emergencies why else would Leonard be hesitating to drive him.

"Amy and Penny have been in an accident" Sheldon repeated for the third time "And Penny's father as well we really need to go now…."

Raj didn't hesitate to agree to Sheldon's request, the two men started to head towards the door

"Leonard are you coming?" Raj asked

Leonard was still rooted to the spot

"Leonard are you just gonna stand there? Penny needs you right now"

"Please don't let anything bad have happened to her…." Leonard whispered "I can't live without her.."

"I know man" Raj said gently coaxing Leonard towards the door "Come on I'll drive you both"

Laid on the gurney in the ambulance Penny closed her eyes and listened to the wail of the siren as the ambulance weaved and turned its way through lines of stopped traffic.

"How are you doing Penny?" Jake asked

"Fine I just want to be with my Dad…" Penny answered

Jake had already examined Penny and she appeared to be unhurt, but he knew that complications with unborn fetuses after a trauma often weren't apparent immediately.

"We need to get you and the baby checked out first sweetheart"

"Jake do you think my Dad's gonna die?" Penny asked with a catch in her throat

It wasn't a question Jake could answer, he hoped for Penny's sake that he would pull through.

"It's a really good hospital with excellent doctors, he's gonna be taken really good care of" Jake tried to assure her

"I'm scared Jake, for Dad and for Amy…."

Images of one of her best friends and her dad lying unconscious in the wrecked car were haunting her

"Just try to relax Penny, we'll be there soon" Jake soothed as he stroked her forehead and held her hand

"Thank you Jake for everything….you're a good friend"

When Raj, Leonard and Sheldon pulled up at the emergency room they made their way immediately to the entrance. As they passed the ambulance bay an ambulance drew up, a doctor and nurse in scrubs were stood waiting, the back doors opened and they saw Wyatt on a gurney. Before any of them could speak he had been whisked off into the emergency room. Another doctor and nurse appeared just as a second ambulance pulled up. This time it was Amy. Sheldon watched in a state of shock as the paramedics relayed details of Amy' condition.

"Amy" Sheldon whimpered at the sight of his girlfriend her face was obscured by the oxygen mask, a portable heart monitor beeped steadily

"I'm Sheldon Cooper Amy's boyfriend is she going to be ok?" Sheldon asked

"Please Sir you need to let us do our work, if you could fill in necessary forms at the desk we'll come and find you when we have some more information"

"There was a third person in the car, my girlfriend Penny is she here yet?" Leonard asked

"She's due in the next ambulance" the nurse informed him

Raj and Sheldon entered into the emergency room, Leonard could see that there was another ambulance approaching with its lights flashing, he felt like he was going to vomit, he had no idea in what condition Penny was in, based upon Wyatt and Amy he expected it to be serious. The doors opened and there inside half sat up on the gurney was Penny; her eyes were closed so she didn't see him. Leonard's eyes were drawn to the man sitting beside her. It was Jake and he was holding her hand. Leonard narrowed his eyes he couldn't believe what he was seeing it felt like someone had just stabbed a dagger through his heart. Looking up Jake spotted Leonard but before he could speak Leonard had turned on his heels and darted away.

"Dammit" Jake cursed under his breath realising that Leonard was bound to get the wrong idea about what he had just seen. As Penny was transferred from the ambulance into the emergency room he told Penny that he would be back in a minute

"Please don't leave me…" Penny begged pulling at Jake's shirt her eyes wide with fear

"Penny I'm gonna try and find out how your Dad and Amy are doing" he told her

Jake fully intended on doing just that, but first he had another matter he needed to tackle. He found Leonard a few minutes later in the hospital gardens staring angrily at his reflection in a pond

"Leonard what are you doing out here? Penny needs you" Jake got straight to the point this was not a time for beating around the bush

"Looked to me like you have everything under control Jake" Leonard answered bitterly "You must think I'm some kinda fool, I saw you both holding hands…."

"What you saw Leonard was me comforting a friend who is in a great deal of distress… she's terrified she's going to lose her dad and Amy"

Leonard looked away from the pond

"They will be ok won't they?" Leonard asked

"I hope so they're both in good hands" Jake answered honestly

"You need to get in there now. Penny needs you and so does Sheldon"

Leonard picked up a twig from the ground and threw it into the pond

"Are you attracted to her?" he asked

"What?"

"Are you attracted to Penny? because she certainly seems to have a thing for you…"

Jake gave an irritated sigh and thought for a few moments as how best to respond to Leonard's assertion

"Yeah sure I'm attracted to her, who wouldn't be? She's beautiful, funny, smart but she loves you Leonard its YOU that she wants not me and for the record I don't go around hitting on other men's girlfriends. Do you know when I got to her in the car all she kept saying other that please help my dad and Amy was your name….she was desperate for you…"

"Really?" Leonard raised his eyebrows

"You sound surprised ,that girl loves the bones of you, she made a stupid mistake that's all"

"Will she and the baby be ok?" Leonard questioned although he hadn't mentioned either of them as yet, it was the first thing on his mind, the thought that they might lose their baby was killing him.

"Yeah I think so she was very lucky indeed not to be hurt, you were right to show her the correct way to wear her seat belt it probably saved both their lives, you guys have a lot to be thankful for"

Leonard put out his hand to shakes Jake's

"Thanks Jake"

By the time Leonard stepped into the ER Penny had already been transferred to the maternity unit for overnight observation. He hurried along the hallway and enquired at the nurses' station as to which room he could find her in. Leonard entered her room to find Penny lying on the bed her eyes closed and crying softly. The baby's heart rate was being monitored by a CTG and the room was filled with a rapid electronic beeping.

"Leonard.." she cried softly into what she believed was an empty room

With her eyes still closed Penny hadn't realised that the man she loved was stood beside her

"I'm here honey"

Penny opened her eyes and upon seeing Leonard looking down at her let out a huge sob. Leonard wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. When he first heard the news he had honestly thought that he was going to lose the two most precious people in his life. When he had caught sight of the gurney on Amy was lying for a terrible moment he had thought it was Penny beneath the mass of tubes and wires and had felt immense guilt for feeling relieved when it had turned out not to be her.

"Sssh sssh it's ok now I'm here. How are you doing? What have the doctors said about the baby?" Leonard stared anxiously at the CTG machine that was producing a trace of the baby's heart rate.

"They think everything is fine, but they want to monitor the baby overnight to be rule out any complications"

"Thank God" Leonard said as he kissed the top of Penny's head

"Don't leave me Leonard…please don't leave me again. I'm so sorry can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you honey"

Leonard held Penny for a long while, very cautiously he brought up the subject of her acting career it had heard him deeply that she thought he didn't support her

"Is that really how you feel?" he asked gently

"I don't know…maybe sometimes….wouldn't you rather I go back to school?"

Leonard took hold of Penny's hand and gazed into her eyes as he spoke

"Penny I promise you I will always support you in anything you want to do"

"Really?"

"Absolutely you know it meant so much to me to have your support when I went to work in the North Sea, why wouldn't I do the same for you?"

Penny could now see that she had misjudged Leonard

"This is the beginning of the rest of our lives together and one big adventure" Leonard said and placed his hand on Penny's belly

Penny smiled through her tears, for a second she contemplated proposing there and then, but stopped herself she couldn't while her dad and Amy were still so sick and besides she had another plan. Leonard stayed with Penny until she had fallen asleep and then went back down to the ER to find Sheldon and Raj. The ER staff had already informed Penny's mom about Wyatt and she was taking a flight. As he approached he could see a doctor talking with Sheldon.

"Sheldon what's going on?" he asked nervously

"She's going to be ok Leonard" Sheldon said with tears in his eyes "The head injury wasn't as serious as we first thought she's going to be fine"

Leonard was so relieved to hear the news, he then enquired about Wyatt and was told that he had as suspected suffered a heart attack and had undergone a coronary angioplasty and was now in a stable condition. Although he was probably going to need cardiac rehab he was expected to make a recovery.

"I need to go and let Penny know" Leonard told them so glad that he was going to be the barer of good news

"Have you guys worked out your issues?" Raj asked

Leonard gave a broad smile

"I think we're gonna be ok from now on Raj" Leonard told him

"Thats great dude"

It was the best feeling ever to know that everything was just as it should be again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Bernadette had almost finished her second cup of tea and Joseph was yet to utter a single word. Instead he stared sadly at the pictures on the wall as he sipped his tea.

"Would you like me to go?" Bernadette asked eventually as she considered that perhaps he just wasn't ready to share his reason for leaving yet. He seemed tired and frail and she by no means intended to press him for answers.

"Are you happy in your marriage Bernadette?"

Such a question coming from her father-in-law seemed very strange indeed, but Bernadette didn't hesitate to reply

"Absolutely I love Howard with all my heart, he's my soul mate, don't get me wrong we have our moments but I'm very happy" she stated

"It may surprise you but so was I, I did love Howard's mom and we had a good marriage at least at the beginning anyway…."

Joseph paused and Bernadette waited patiently for him to continue

"Did Howard ever tell you that I used to play drums?"

Bernadette thought hard for a second and then shook her head she was pretty certain he hadn't.

"Yeah I was pretty good too, music was all I really ever wanted to do. But then I met Susan and we got married. At first I thought I would still be able to pursue my career as musician. I had no delusions of making it real big, just to make a decent living at it would have suited me. Two years after we were married Susan got pregnant and I had to take a job in an office to pay the bills. I worked late all the time, sometimes even the weekends. I tried to keep up with my music but it was always so difficult juggling family life and finding the time to rehearse. So I pretty much gave it up and then years later when Howard was eleven I ran into an old college friend while I was away on a business trip who I used to play in a band with. He was still on the road gigging and I remember feeling so dam envious of him. That evening we sat up the whole night talking about the old times and then he asked me about my life what I'd been doing, whether I was married and without even thinking I said no. I said I was still single living in a place on my own in a job I pretty much hated. At least part about the job was true, everything else was a pack of lies. I remember putting my hand under the table and slipping of my wedding band. He obviously hadn't noticed before that I was wearing it. After that night I went back home and I felt so terrible for lying to my friend and I kept asking myself why I hadn't told him about my wife and my son. And then out of the blue a couple months later I got a call at work from the friend I had met, one of the members of his band had dropped out and they needed a drummer and would I be interested. Of course I made up some excuse and said that I couldn't . As soon as I hung up the phone Howard's mom called and was going on about cooking a brisket and what time would I be home. That was the last time I ever spoke with her. That night I was driving home just like I'd done hundreds of times before only that time when I got to the traffic lights where I needed to turn left into our street and the lights changed…. I drove straight on. I drove and I drove until I was a hundred miles away and my car had run out of gas…."

"So you left your family to join a band?" Bernadette said this was not the explanation she had expected

"No I never saw that friend again. I heard he died a couple of years later while he was touring… anyway I stayed in motels got a job at a convenience store, eventually worked my way up to being store manager. I wrote to Howard and his mom within the first day to let them know I was ok. I knew they'd still worry and I knew how badly it would affect them but somehow I just couldn't go back…."

"And that was it ? you decided to never go back?" Bernadette asked

"Not exactly about a year later I did try to go back on Howard's 12th birthday. I remember parking my car a little way down the street and walking towards the house. I was so scared about how they would react after me being away for so long, but I hoped that by some miracle maybe they would forgive me and welcome me back with open arms. When I got to the house the lights were on and I could see Howard and his mom in the lounge through the window. Howard was putting on a magic show for his mom, oh he looked so happy Bernadette, they were both laughing and smiling….I convinced myself there and then that he…they didn't need me anymore and it was better for me to stay out of their lives…. After that I never went home again and I didn't see Howard until his high school graduation…Then a couple years ago I left my job at the store and moved back to Pasadena"

When Joseph finished telling his story Bernadette's head was swimming with trying to absorb everything that he had told her. There was so much to take in.

"So why now Joseph? Why have you come back into Howard's life now?"

The letter had not given any real explanation all it had contained was heartfelt apologies from Joseph to Howard and a note of hope that Howard could one day find it in his heart to forgive him. Joseph let out a deep sigh after baring his soul to her there seemed no point in holding back anything now.

"Because I'm dying Bernadette…"

The following morning Leonard took Sheldon to the hospital to visit Amy. Penny was also due to be discharged and they were both planning on visiting Wyatt.

"Morning Amy I must say you are looking so much better today" Sheldon stated

"Thank you Sheldon" Amy replied she still felt tired and groggy but in general was feeling heaps better

"So the doctors think you can come home in a few days" Sheldon began as he fumbled in his jacket pocket "And with that in mind I have an important proposition for you"

From his pocket Sheldon took out a small black jewellery box that was about the right size to contain a ring and handed it to Amy

"Oh Sheldon I don't know what to say!" Amy exclaimed

"Well I hope that you'll say yes" Sheldon responded as Amy began to prize open the box to reveal a key

"Amy will you come and live with me?"

Amy studied the brass coloured key

"Do I have to sign the roommate agreement?" she enquired expecting Sheldon to whip out a copy and a pen for her at any moment

"I was thinking more along the lines that you would live with me as my girlfriend not my roommate…"

It was exactly what Amy had dreamt of hearing

"Yes Sheldon yes of course I will!" Amy answered for a moment she had thought it was an engagement ring, but although she loved Sheldon she wasn't ready yet for marriage. Living together would be just perfect.

"Oh Sheldon I'm so happy"

She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but thought that would be far more emotion than he would be comfortable with.

"You know I'm very fond of you Sheldon Cooper" she said instead

"And I'm very fond of you Amy Farrah-Fowler" Sheldon responded

And although the L word wasn't mentioned at all, between them they both knew that's what they meant.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

It was 4am and Penny was awake. She could no longer seem to get comfortable in bed, and had been awake for the last couple of hours tossing and turning trying to settle. Worried that she would disturb Leonard who was due in at work in the morning she had abandoned the bed and had gone into the spare room, which had over the last fews been transformed into a nursery complete with a collage of super heroes on the wall for the now imminent arrival of baby Hofstadter. Apart from the collage which had been the work of their friend Stuart who owned the comic book store, most of the work had been done by Leonard and Penny's mother in between visiting Wyatt at the hospital. In the end Wyatt had been in the hospital for almost two weeks and had been given the all clear to fly home to Nebraska only a few days ago. Penny had loved having her mom around, even though the circumstances that had brought her to Pasadena had been extremely painful and distressing. Both her parents had now returned home but Leonard and Penny had promised to come visit in a couple of months with their new baby. Penny made herself a cocoa and settled down on the couch.

"Honey are you ok?"

Penny looked up from blowing on her steaming hot mug of coca to see Leonard in his boxer shorts and white t-shirt

"Yeah I'm fine, sorry did I wake you sweetie?"

"No I just woke up by myself" Leonard replied rubbed his eyes and yawned

"Leonard I feel like a beached whale…." Penny moaned "this baby really needs to be born right now..."

By now Penny was three days passed her due date and was getting impatient. Leonard plonked himself down on the couch beside his girlfriend and slipped a comforting arm around her.

"Well if he or she has inherited your punctuality we could be waiting much longer than we anticipated!…"

Penny playfully slapped Leonard across the arm remembering that her punctuality had been something that he had included on his bug report to her during their relationship beta test.

"You know that making love might be a way to get my labour started" Penny whispered coyly and started to caress Leonard on the neck just where she knew he loved to be kissed.

"Actually that's never been definitively proven…." Leonard began to say and quickly realised the implications of dismissing Penny's suggestion

"Well the only way to either prove or disprove the hypothesis would be to engage in an experiment would you be willing to do that Dr. Hofstadter?"

Leonard could feel himself getting increasingly turned on by Penny's advances

"I believe I would" Leonard replied with a sexy smile. Taking Penny by the hand he led her to the bedroom where he made gentle but passionate love to her until dawn broke. They had just dozed off into a blissful sleep when the alarm on Leonard's cell phone went off indicating it was time to get up. Extremely reluctantly he rolled out of bed, took a shower and got dressed.

"I wish you didn't have to go to work today" Penny groaned "Can't you just stay here and do more experiments with me?" and winked

"You know I'd love to honey …"

"Oooh ouch" Penny exclaimed and looked down at her belly

"What is it Penny? Is it the baby?"

"It's just practice contractions, I've been having them on and off for a few days now" she told him casually "My midwife says it perfectly normal"

Leonard was reluctant to leave, but after assuring him again that she was fine he kissed her and gave assurances that he'd try not to be to late home.

"I love you" Penny called after him

"I love you too"

Bernadette knocked on Joseph's front door for the second time and waited patiently. By the third knock she was beginning to feel anxious. She had visited Joseph at home several times over the last couple of weeks, she wasn't aware that he had planned to go out at any time during the day. Normally he would be at home awaiting his daily visits from the home nurse.

"Are you looking for Joseph?"

Bernadette turned around to see a woman in the next door's front yard watering her flowers; she had noticed Bernadette coming and going over the last few weeks and had thought it very curious. Joseph hardly ever spoke of family or friends and here he was being visited by a heavily pregnant woman.

"Yes I am" Bernadette answered

The woman frowned

"He's in the hospital, he got taken there by ambulance last night I think he had some kind of turn, he's not a well man you know"

"Yes I know" Bernadette said sadly for the last couple of weeks she had been desperately trying to find a way of telling Howard, but every time she even made the slightest mention of his father Howard would clam up and refuse to talk.

"Do you happen to know which hospital?" Bernadette asked

"Yes I believe he's gone to the Huntington Memorial" the woman replied

Bernadette could tell that the woman was desperate to ask how she knew Joseph but she had no intention of being the supplier of neighbourhood gossip. She quickly thanked the woman and hurried back up the driveway towards her car. An hour later she was walking into Joseph's hospital room. She was shocked by his apparent deterioration; he looked incredibly frail and was now hooked up to an IV. The room felt very warm, Bernadette slipped off her cardigan and hung it on the back of a chair.

"Joseph" Bernadette said gently touching his hand

Joseph opened his eyes and smiled immediately at his beautiful daughter-in-law

"Bernadette! It's so good to see you darling"

He was aware that she was only a week away from her due date now

"You shouldn't have come in your condition you should be at home with your feet up" he gently scolded her although he was very pleased to see a friendly face

"Nonsense I had to check on you and see that you're alright" Bernadette said she had grown very fond of Joseph.

"Oh these doctors what do they know?" Joseph joked "perhaps I'll out live you all"

Bernadette walked around the side of the bed picked up a plastic pitcher of water and began to pour a fresh cup for Joseph. Suddenly she felt a sharp cramp like pain in her abdomen followed by a wet gushing feeling. She looked down to see that a small pool of water had formed at her feet, for a moment she couldn't believe what was happening and thought that maybe the pitcher had leaked onto the floor.

"Ooooh" Bernadette cried and this time was doubled by the pain which made her drop the pitcher and the cup

"Bernadette? Honey?" Joseph stared wide eyes at his daughter-in-law before pressing the emergency call button

A nurse came running into the room

"Please can you help I think my daughter-in-law had gone into labour!"

The nurse called to an orderly to fetch a wheelchair so that Bernadette could be taken to the maternity unit.

"Please I need to call my husband and my doula….." Bernadette said desperately trying to remember everything she had learnt at Lamaze and from the countless books that she had read over the past nine months

"Good luck sweetheart" Joseph called after her

The day at work was really started to drag for Leonard, he wasn't sure why but he felt uneasy that day and hadn't been able to concentrate on any of his work. Feeling his phone vibrating in his pants pocket, Leonard pulled it his heart skipped a beat when he saw that it was Penny calling. He answered and could hear Penny sounding out of breath on the other end.

"Leonard its happening" she said

There was a pause

"Leonard did you hear me? It started I'm in labour" Penny repeated

For the first few seconds Leonard was completely flummoxed by the news

"I've called the midwife and she's coming over, please you need to come home now. I need you Leonard…."

Leonard closed his eyes. This was it. The event that they had both been leading up to for the last nine months.

"Ok honey I'm leaving right now" he replied "Penny I love you it's gonna be alright"

Leonard dashed to towards the parking lot only to literally run right into Howard at the entrance

"Penny's in labour" "Bernadette's in labour"

They both said simultaneously which was then followed by another simultaneous "Oh my God" as they realised that their babies could well be born on the exact same day.

"Gotta go"

With that they ran to their respective cars, jumped in and drove towards the parking lot exit. It was here that they parted ways, Howard turning left to head towards the hospital and Leonard right to head for home.

Once he was home Leonard couldn't bare to delay any further by waiting for the elevator so took the stairs two at a time until he reached his apartment. As he let himself into the apartment he was fully expecting to be greeted with a scene of blood, sweat and tears, instead he found Penny in her sweatpants and Nebraska football shirt rocking gently on her birthing ball while the midwife who was sitting on the couch was jotting down some notes.

"Leonard where have you been?" Penny demanded as soon as he stepped inside

Much to Leonard's frustration every traffic light had turned red on him and then he had got stuck behind a student driver, it had taken maybe fifteen to twenty minutes longer to get back than he had anticipated.

"I'm sorry honey the traffic was awful, but I'm here now" he said kneeling down on the floor beside her.

Penny introduced Leonard again to her midwife, although they had met a few weeks earlier, her name was Trudy.

"Ok Penny you have my number if you have any concerns otherwise please call me when your contractions are about five minutes apart" Trudy placed her notes in her bag and began to gather her remaining items. Currently Penny's contractions were only coming about 25 to 30 minutes and were lasting around half a minute.

"You're leaving?" Leonard exclaimed

Trudy smiled it wasn't unusual for the father-to-be, particularly first time fathers to get anxious

"I've established that Penny is in labour, her blood pressure and baby's heart rate is normal, but she's only in the first stage it going to be a while yet Leonard. Please try not to worry, everything looks great so far" her words did go some way to reassure Leonard but in truth he would have been preferred her to stay.

"So how was your day?" Penny asked calmly as she continued with the rocking motion on her birthing ball. Leonard found it a little bizarre for her to enquire about his day given the current circumstances but figured perhaps she needed a distraction

"Oh well you know I'm a physicist…."

"So you thought about stuff…" Penny finished his sentence and smiled it was a line that Leonard often used and had become a bit of a running joke between the two of them.

"Yeah pretty much" Leonard said

Penny could feel that another contraction was beginning to start she reached out for Leonard and rested her head on his shoulder, while Leonard whispered words of encouragement and reminded her to do her breathing.

"oooh" she moaned through the pain which was getting more intense and making it more difficult to concentrate on her breathing

A few days earlier Leonard had downloaded an app for monitoring the frequency and length of contractions to his cell phone which he now started to use. The pain subsided and Leonard kissed her.

"My God Penny this is really happening we're having a baby…" he said lovingly everything felt one hundred percent real now

"I know it's awesome isn't it?" she smiled


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Another hour had gone by when Penny looked over at the birthing tub which was now almost full courtesy of a hose that Leonard had brought from the hardware store and connected to the faucet in the kitchen.

"I think I want to get in the tub now" she told him her back was really starting to ache "Will you get in with me?"

"Sure honey I even brought new swim shorts for the occasion" Leonard said, he had wanted it to be a surprise.

Hand in hand Leonard and Penny walked into the bedroom and emerged a few minutes later in their bathrobes. First Leonard checked the temperature of the water with a thermometer, drew the window drapes, dimmed the lights and put on Penny's iPod with a selection of their favourite songs. Carefully he helped Penny into the water. She had brought a maternity bikini top and bottoms.

"Ta da!" exclaimed Leonard as he allowed his bathrobe to slip off his body and onto the floor

"You brought Aquaman swim shorts?" Penny rolled her eyes and couldn't help but laugh at her nerdy boyfriend "How did you even get them in your size?"

"I know it's amazing what you can buy on the Internet isn't it? I thought they would be fitting for the occasion" Leonard announced proudly and got into the tub and sat down so he could hold Penny from behind. He passed Penny a bottle of water and told her to drink in order to keep herself hydrated. Penny obliged and then rested her head on Leonard's bare chest.

"Why don't you take a little nap honey?" he suggested after Penny had swallowed half the bottle "You need to save your energy for later"

Penny yawned, thinking to herself how it was a good suggestion. She closed her eyes and dozed off almost immediately and didn't awake until her next contraction came.

"Leonard!...oooohh!" she woke with a start as the pain kicked in

"Just breath honey you're doing so well" Leonard encouraged taking hold of her hand

The contraction subsided, it was ten seconds longer than the previous and had come about fifteen minutes after the last one

"Leonard I don't think I can do this….." tears began to fall down Penny's cheeks, the reality of the task she had in front of her had by now really sunk in.

"Yes you CAN sweetheart" Leonard insisted squeezing Penny's hand tightly and then kissing it "We're going to do this together ok?"

"I'm scared Leonard"

"Yeah me too honey but I know it's going to be ok, we have each other and together we can do anything right? We're Leonard and Penny"

Leonard stroked under Penny's chin and she nodded

"I love you Leonard"

At the hospital Howard was pacing the hallway outside of Bernadette's room; the doctor had wanted to examine her so he and Jake had both stepped outside for a few minutes.

"Do you want some coffee Howard?" Jake offered

Howard had already been at the hospital for several hours and knew that he probably had a long haul in front of him, he accepted and Jake purchased a black coffee from the vending machine

"You know about this stuff Jake, is this all normal? It's so hard seeing her in so much pain..."

"Howard everything is going fine so far believe me…." Jake placed a comforting hand on Howard's back

"You know I never thought I'd say this but I'm really glad you're here Jake, I don't think I realised just hard it would really be for both of us…"

Jake was both grateful and pleased by what Howard had just said, particularly after everything that had happened over the last couple of months.

"Good I'm glad Howard"

The two men sipped their coffee in silence. A moment or two later a nurse wearing a tracksuit top over her scrubs walked passed them holding a cerise pink cardigan and approached the nurses' station.

"Do you have a patient named Bernadette Wolowitz-Rosenkowski here? She was down in oncology earlier visiting her father-in-law and she left this behind" she asked

The nurse handed the cardigan over to the midwife sat at the station who assured her that she would see that it was returned to Bernadette. Howard stared in disbelief as the nurse turned to leave.

"Excuse me did you say Bernadette was visiting her father-in-law?" he questioned

"I'm sorry Sir and you are?" the nurse enquired

"I'm Bernadette's husband Howard Wolowitz"

The nurse looked confused; judging by Howard's line of questioning it seemed that he was unaware of his wife visiting his father. One thing was for certain the timing of Howard discovering Bernadette's secret could not have been worse.

"Maybe you need to speak with your wife Mr Wolowitz… Sorry I have to go"

Jake turned to look at Howard

"I don't believe this" Howard muttered as he threw the empty Styrofoam cup into the trash

"Howard do you want tell me what's going on?" Jake asked this was no time for disagreements

"My wife has been lying to me, that's what's been happening Jake" Howard answered through gritted teeth "She knew I wanted nothing more to do with my father and she went behind my back…"

The doctor emerged from Bernadette's room and indicated that it was alright for Howard and Jake to return inside. Howard could feel hot angry tears burning in his eyes and knew had to get out before he fell completely to pieces.

"I can't don't this… I can't be here now I have to go" he announced and before Jake could stop him he had fled down the hall and through the double doors

"Howard where the hell do you think you're going?" Jake called after him

From inside the room Jake could hear Bernadette calling out for Howard as she coped with another contraction

"Dammit" Jake said now completely torn with returning to Bernadette or chasing after Howard

"Howard!…."

The sound of Bernadette's cries drifted once more out into the hall. With a sigh he pushed the door to the room open knowing full well that she would need him now more than ever...

Penny let out another long moan as another contraction began to take hold; two more hours had gone by.

"Oooooh Leonard it hurts real bad now"

"I know sweetie but you're doing really well" Leonard said for maybe the twentieth time and began to imitate the breathing exercise that Penny was desperately trying to focus on.

Penny was now on her knees in the tub her arms around Leonard's neck, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Why didn't I let you talk me out of this? I could be at the hospital right now being pumped full of drugs…ooooh God dammit!"

Despite the fact that it was extremely difficult seeing Penny in such a great deal of pain in many ways Leonard was glad that they were going through labour together in the privacy of their own home. The last couple of hours that they had shared had probably been the most loving and intimate that they had ever experienced. Leonard had held Penny and encouraged her through every contraction and massaged her back when she needed it. He had kissed her and her belly several times and spoken to their baby that was well on its way to meeting its parents. Upon Penny's suggestion he had taken some photographs of her pregnancy bump as a reminder of the last few hours of her pregnancy. Neither of them had ever been in love as much as they were now and Penny knew the moment was more than right, it was perfect.

"Will you marry me Leonard?" the pain from the contraction has subsided but she was still on her knees resting head on Leonard's shoulder

"What?"

Penny pulled away so that she could look Leonard in the eyes

"I know you said you wanted me down on one knee…. surely two is better than one? I know you wanted the whole nine yards but…."

Leonard was dumbfound at first he couldn't speak he really hadn't anticipated this, eventually he found his voice

"Yeah I did say that... I never thought you would propose to me in a birthing tub.." he smiled as tears glistened in his eyes

"I never thought I'd be proposing to a man wearing Aquaman swim shorts" Penny retorted making Leonard smile even more

There was a pause

"So WILL you marry me Leonard?" Penny repeated the question and waited anxiously for a response

Leonard leant in towards Penny and kissed her forehead

"Yes I'll marry you Penny" he whispered "And I promise I'm gonna make you so happy"

"Me too" Penny whispered back


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Bernadette stared at Jake with anxious eyes; she had been calling for Howard for the last few minutes and was concerned to see Jake enter the room alone. Without saying anything Jake dampened a cloth at the sink in the corner of the room and began to gently wipe away the beads of sweat from Bernadette's forehead.

"How are you doing Bernadette?" he asked gently

"My midwife says I'm almost fully dilated" Bernadette answered "I'll be able to start pushing soon…"

"Good girl you're doing beautifully Bernadette" Jake responded glancing over at the door and praying that at any moment Howard would come to his senses and walk back though it.

"Jake where's Howard? I need him here"

He didn't want to have to tell her about Howard's disappearing act, but there was no way he was going to lie to a client.

"Bernadette honey something's happened and Howard's had to leave" he began to tell her calmly.

"What?" Bernadette sat bolt upright in the bed forcing Jake's hand holding the cloth away from her forehead "What could possibly be more important than me having our baby?" she demanded "You wait to I see him next… boy I'm gonna tear him a new one!"

"Bernadette please try to stay calm" Jake soothed "I'm sure he'll be back…"

Although he was doing his best to keep everything calm, Jake could rapidly feel tge situation spiralling out of control. Just then the midwife entered the room carrying Bernadette's cardigan.

"Bernadette one of the nurses from your father-in-law's ward returned this, seems you left it behind earlier today"

It was then that with horror the true reason for Howard's absence became apparent to Bernadette

"Oh my God Howard's found out about his father hasn't he?" Bernadette said with wide eyes she had never thought he would end up finding out

"Jake pass me my phone I have to call him" Bernadette ordered

As instructed Jake passed Bernadette her cell phone from inside her purse, but when she made the call it went straight to voicemail. Upon hearing the recorded sound of her husband's voicemail message Bernadette burst into tears and begged Jake to go find him

"He has to be here" she pleaded "Jake please please you have to go find him…."

Jake sighed in all his experience of being a doula he had never had an expectant father do a runner while their partner was in labour.

"I don't want to leave you now Bernadette; I have a responsibility to you…." Jake insisted Although Bernadette's labour was progressing well, he was aware that she still had so much hard work to do before her baby could be born.

"I can't do this without Howard!" Bernadette sobbed

Jake watched the tears flowing down Bernadette's cheeks and knew that there was no way he could refuse her; he only hoped Howard hadn't gone too far. Before leaving he made sure Bernadette had her cell phone to hand and assured her that should she need him he would come right back before hurrying off down the hall and pressing the call button for the elevator. As he stood and waited he happened to glance out the window and was relieved to see Howard standing in the hospital gardens, almost in the exact spot where he had confronted Leonard only a few weeks ago. The elevator was taking far too long to arrive so hastily Jake opted to take the stairs.

"Please do the right the thing Howard Wolowitz…" Jake uttered to himself as he stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine and made his way towards him over by the pond.

"Howard" he called when he was within shouting distance

Howard swung round and glared at him, Jake guessed from his red and puffy eyes that he had been crying.

"Howard we need to talk….."

Penny was lying in Leonard's arms wrapped in a blanket on the couch while they both waited for the birthing tub to refill with some fresh warm water. The midwife had warned Penny that immersion in the water in the first stage of labour may slow down the contractions, so when her next one had failed to start, Leonard had suggested she get out for a while. Loosening her bathrobe Penny encouraged Leonard to massage her breasts and nipples. It a was a technique which they had been told about at the Lamaze class which could help to bring on stronger contractions.

"Mmmm" Penny sighed as she melted into Leonard's arms "Leonard tell me about the day we first met…"

Leonard smiled as he began to recollect the day that had completely changed his life forever.

"Well it was a day like any other day… oh well actually no it was a bit different Sheldon and I we were going to…"

Leonard stopped he had never actually told Penny that he and Sheldon had gone to donate sperm to a high IQ sperm bank but had changed their minds and backed out.

"Actually that part doesn't matter Sheldon and I were coming home and we saw that the door to your apartment open and there you were, unpacking boxes in your denim shorts and a pale blue t-shirt. You were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, you literally took my breath away…."

"Did you know then that we'd end up together?" Penny asked

"Sure I knew…" Leonard grinned and began to sing a few lines from Lionel Ritchie's song 'Penny Lover'

"_The first time I saw you_

_Oh you looked so fine_

_I had a feeling _

_One day you'd be mine…"_

Penny laughed Leonard's singing voice was completely off key, but she loved hearing about the time when they had first met. He was just about to ask her for her version of that day when she stiffened.

"Oooh Leonard another contraction's coming….."

This time it was much more intense than before, Penny's face contorted with pain and she was unable to speak until it had subsided .

"I'm calling the midwife right now" Leonard announced taking out his cell phone

Penny nodded her head frantically in agreement, realising she was probably now going into second stage labour. She grabbed Leonard's free hand and with eyes as wide as saucers said

"Leonard I think I need to push…"

"I don't want to talk to you Jake" Howard snapped as he lay eyes on the doula "You know everything was fine until you showed up…."

It was a ridiculous statement which seemed to contradict what Howard had said to Jake about being glad that he was around less than half an hour ago. Although it was slightly unprofessional Jake couldn't help but laugh.

"With all due respect Howard I think the issues you have with your father and any problems that Leonard and Penny might have had were there long before I came along…"

Howard snorted and Jake waited for him to say something, when he failed to speak Jake spoke again, time was ticking by and he had some serious convincing to do.

"Howard you need get back to Bernadette right now, there's every chance your baby is going to born in the next couple of hours, do you really want to leave Bernadette alone?"

"She has you" Howard responded quickly

It was almost like a re-run of the scene that had played out between Jake and Leonard a few weeks ago, only this time with Howard, Jake shook his head in disagreement.

"Howard whatever Bernadette has done please can you just put it aside for now? I've only known her a few months but believe me you're one lucky guy to have someone as special as her in your life and what's more it's you she wants with her right now"

"Listen to him Howard he's talking a lot of sense…" a voice from behind them said

Jake and Howard turned around to see Howard's father in a wheelchair with a tartan blanket covering his legs, a nurse was stood behind him. Twisting his neck so he could look behind him Joseph spoke to the nurse.

"Could you maybe just give me a few minutes alone please? I need to speak with my son"

The nurse nodded and retreated just enough distance for the father and son to have privacy, Jake said that he was going to return inside to check on Bernadette.

"So you turned into a stubborn son of a bitch just like your old man" Joseph remarked as he fumbled in his bathrobe pocket took out a pack of cigarettes and with a trembling hand lit one.

"I'm nothing like you" Howard was quick to angrily come back with

"Maybe you think you're not, but you are my son, my flesh and blood we must have at least a few things in common…"

Joseph offered the pack of cigarettes to Howard, Howard looked at them with disgust and refused, he had never smoked in his life and was not about to take up the habit.

"Smart it will only end up killing you anyway" Joseph said with a bitter laugh and then took a long drag from his cigarette

"So do you still hate me?" he asked as he exhaled smoke

Howard failed to reply to the more than direct question choosing instead to stare at the fountain that was cascading water in the centre of the pond.

"I take that as a yes then, well if you do hate me son then I guess I will have to accept that, but what I can't accept is you taking it out on Bernadette… I'm telling you son running out on your wife while she's in labour isn't going to win you any prizes…"

Howard shot his father an angry glare

"I don't want to talk about my wife with you…" he shouted "I mean if I wanted advice on marriage I think you'd be the last person on Earth I'd ask…"

Joseph couldn't help but laugh at Howard's statement, nor could he argue with him, his track record so far as marriage and relationships were concerned was appalling. After leaving Howard's mom there had been the occasional woman in his life, but it has never lasted longer than a few months. There was a long pause during which Howard took a few paces away from his father and stared up at the hospital building knowing that Bernadette was in there, desperate for her husband to be at her side. Joseph finished his cigarette and immediately lit another.

"So you're just gonna make the same mistakes that I made? Walk away from your wife and child just when they need you the most? You say you're nothing like me but I reckon you're more like me than you'd care to admit Howard…"

Joseph's statement about their apparent similarity had the effect of a red rag to a bull, causing Howard to explode with rage.

"I told you I'm nothing like you!" Howard seethed and if wasn't for the fact that his father was now a frail old man in a wheelchair he would have punched him there and then.

"So be the better man then!" Joseph yelled using the little strength he had to pull Howard by his jacket towards him "Please I'm begging you don't make the same mistakes I made son….Don't turn your back on your wife now, believe me you'll always regret it... I know you're scared son that you'll get close to me and then I'll disappear on you again; well the news is I am going to leave you, only this time it's not through choice…"

Howard looked up from staring at the ground instantly knowing what his father was trying to say

"Look I don't want this to be about me son, please just do the right thing by Bernadette"

The nurse approached and announced that it was time to get Joseph back to the ward and Howard watched as she wheeled his father away and back into the hospital building. Suddenly Howard knew what he needed to do and found himself running after him. He ran through the entrance just in time to see his father disappearing behind the sliding doors of the elevator, with lightning speed he caught hold of the one of the doors to stop it from closing and stepped inside.

"Howard!" Joseph gasped

Without uttering a word Howard crouched down and slipped his arms around his father's neck.

"I'm so sorry Howard" Joseph breathed in between sobs as years of pain and regret came flooding out

"I love you dad, I never stopped loving you, even after everything…." Howard began but was so choked up that he could no longer string a complete sentence together. These were the words that Joseph had prayed that he would one day hear from his son.

"Now you dry your eyes Howard and go to Bernadette, we can talk later" Joseph assured him "You're gonna be a terrific father I just know it…"

Howard got to his feet just as the elevator stopped and a recorded voice announced that it was the floor for the maternity unit .

"Good luck son" Joseph called as the doors closed shut

As Howard entered Bernadette's room he could hear the midwife instructing her to pant and not to push just yet while she checked that the cord was not wrapped around the baby's neck.

"Howard get in here" Jake coaxed seeing him standing in the doorway and then stepped back so that Howard could get beside Bernadette

"Oh Howie I'm so sorry…" Bernadette cried

Howard kissed Bernadette's hand and told her not to worry.

"Ok Bernadette I can see your baby's head, with your next contraction I need to you to give me a really big long push and keep going until I tell you to stop ok?" the midwife directed

Bernadette responded with a nod; she was getting to the point of exhaustion, but having Howard at her side once again had given her a renewed energy. Feeling the contraction building Bernadette grabbed hold of Howard's hand and pushed with all her might.

"Come on honey I love you, you can do this" Howard encouraged

And with one last great push Howard and Bernadette's son was born, the midwife lifted baby Wolowitz and placed him on Bernadette's stomach just as he let out his first cry. Howard had been to outer space and looked down on the majesty of the Earth, but nothing could compare to the moment of seeing his son being born into the world.

"Oh my God Bernie you did it" tears streamed down Howard's face

Bernadette looked down at her brand new baby son, her heart filled with love and she smiled through her tears of happiness, the pain of the last few hours seemed to drift away and they both fell instantly in love with their son.

"Happy birthday little one" she whispered


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The moment Leonard heard the midwife knock he strode hastily towards the door tying his bathrobe as he went, so intent was he to let the midwife in as quickly as possible that history repeated itself and he tripped over Penny's birthing ball.

"Leonard hurry!" Penny screamed from the birthing tub as she heard the thud of Leonard hitting the floor.

"I'm ok" Leonard said to himself as he got back on his feet and straightened his glasses that had ended up half hanging off his face

"Thank god you're here! the contractions are coming every couple of minutes now!" Leonard told the midwife as she followed him inside and opened her bag.

"I'm going to die… " Penny cried out a feeling of no longer being in control had totally consumed her and it terrified Leonard.

"I can assure you honey you're not going to die" Trudy said with a knowing smile she had seen this reaction in many labouring women. Leonard reached over to try and stroke Penny's arm but she pulled away

"Don't touch me Leonard! get off me!" she shouted "You did this to me!"

Leonard flinched fearing for a second that she might lash out at him. The midwife suggested that Leonard give her a moment alone with Penny so that she could examine her and listen to the baby's heart rate, so Leonard retreated to the safety of the kitchen. A few minutes later another contraction began, this time Trudy offered Penny the Entonox to inhale on; which seemed to have the effect of taking the edge off the pain.

"Leonard what are you doing? get over here!" Penny yelled once the contraction began to subside

Leonard scuttled back over and took hold of Penny's hand which she squeezed so tightly it made him cry out in pain

"Now you know what its damn well like Leonard!" Penny turned to the midwife with a look of desperation "Trudy I was wrong I can't do this!"

"Sweetheart you only have a bit more work to do and you're gonna meet your baby" she assured her "You just need a bit more of that Nebraskan fighting spirit that I know you have…."

"Really?" Penny said and couldn't help but smile despite the pain, she was so relieved that the end was almost in sight. There had been times during that day when it seemed like an impossible task that was never going to end.

Penny reached out her hand and beckoned Leonard into the tub; Leonard obliged immediately and slipped off his bathrobe once more and settled down holding her from behind her.

"Oh God it's another…."

Seeing that Penny was about to have another contraction the midwife passed her the mouthpiece for the Entonox and encouraged her to inhale on the gas. The contraction started and this time Penny let out a long and deafening scream that echoed around the apartment and was probably heard by all the residents of the entire building.

"Good job Penny that's baby's head out" the midwife said as she peered down into the water "You just need one more really good push and you can hold your baby"

The midwife had already explained that it was safe for the baby to be born underwater as it wouldn't take its first breath until it was brought up to the surface.

"Oh my God Leonard" Penny cried no longer did she feel frightened, she felt completely exhilarated, and when the next contraction came as instructed by her midwife and with Leonard's love and encouragement giving her strength, she started to push as hard as she could. Seconds later Trudy reached into the water and guided Leonard and Penny's daughter to the surface and into Penny's arms.

"Congratulations guys you have a daughter!"

The baby was a little bluish in colour and it seemed to take a good few moments before she began to cry, but Trudy assured Leonard and Penny that this was normal.

"My God Penny she's so beautiful you did it" Leonard said kissing Penny and then his daughter's head, completely overcome with the emotion of experiencing what was without doubt the happiest moment of his entire life.

"No we did it" Penny corrected him and gently stroked the tufts of dark brown hair on their daughters head

An hour later once she was satisfied that mother and baby were doing fine, Trudy was preparing to leave, Penny was in bed and Leonard was seeing her to the door.

"Thank you so much for everything, really we can't thank you enough" Leonard said again, he still hadn't come down from the cloud he was on. Every time he thought about Penny and their beautiful new baby daughter tears would well in his eyes. Penny had commented that she should have brought more tissues, between the two of them they had already used up almost an entire box.

"Congratulations Leonard" Trudy smiled as she waved goodbye from the door "Call me if you have any concerns"

Leonard wandered back to the bedroom to find Penny sat up in bed breastfeeding, lying down beside her he rested his chin on her shoulder and gazed lovingly at his daughter. He had already sent text messages to all their friends and had briefly called Penny's parents to tell them the good news.

"I can't believe we're actually parents now" he commented "It feels like a dream doesn't it?"

"I know it's the best kind of dream because it's real" Penny answered "although I'm glad it's over…."

Leonard smirked, it didn't sound like Penny wanted to repeat the experience any time soon, but he was sure that at some point in the future they would both want to have another baby. He for one wanted to have several children if he could. Penny gave a deep yawn; the adrenaline had finally worn off and had given way to exhaustion. Leonard reached out to take hold of for his daughter who was now sleeping following her feed and laid her down in the bassinette in the corner of the room.

"You should get some sleep honey" Leonard advised, they were both aware that their baby would probably be wake again in a few hours needing a second feed.

"What do you think about naming her Grace?" Penny asked as she leant over switched off the bedside lamp, rolled over onto her side and snuggled down beneath the sheets "It was my Grandmother's name"

"Grace Hofstadter" Leonard said out loud, it definitely had a nice ring to it "I love it" he concurred pleased that they had agreed on a name so quickly.

By the time Leonard lifted the bed sheets and slipped in beside his now fiancée, Penny had already fallen asleep and was snoring quietly. Although he felt exhausted himself, he couldn't help but stay awake for a while just watching Penny sleep her face visible in the moonlight that was peeking in through the gap in the window drapes.

"My God I love you Penny"

It scared him sometimes as to how much he loved her and he shuddered when he remembered the events of a few weeks ago when he had come so very close to potentially losing Penny and Grace. Penny stirred and moaned sleepily

"Mmmm I love you too Hofstadter"

With that Leonard wrapped his arms around her and fell into blissful sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Howard was stood in the hall gazing in awe at his son through the glass window of the nursery when his mom appeared unexpectedly. There was absolutely no mistaking the sound of her voice as it echoed down the hall.

"Howard!" she called stepping out of the elevator waving madly

She was carrying a large blue teddy bear, a helium balloon with the words _'It's a Boy'_ bobbed above her head.

"Ma?"

Howard had called his mom to let her know the happy news, but as it was already late he had suggested that it would be for her to wait until the following day before visiting her new grandson and Bernadette. That was at least the reason he had given, truthfully he was still trying to figure out how to break the news about his father to her.

"Ma I didn't think you were coming here tonight…" Howard said in surprise

"I just couldn't wait another minute to see my first born grandson" she said her face beaming with pride

Howard cleared his throat nervously and pointed out his son lying in a crib wearing a teddy bear print baby grow.

"Oh my God he's beautiful!" Mrs Wolowitz exclaimed and clapped her hands together in glee "He looks just like you when you were born….I'm so proud of you"

"It was Bernadette who did all the hard work…" Howard answered "Listen Ma we need to talk"

Howard's mom swung around

"Is there something wrong with my Grandson?" she asked anxiously

"No no he's perfect it's something else…"

Howard coaxed his mother towards a row of plastic seats that lined the wall of the hall and guided her down onto one.

"Howard what is it? Is it Bernadette?" she asked searching her son's face anxiously for answers "Will she not let you give the baby a Jewish name?"

"No no that's not it at all….. Look mom there's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna say it" Howard took a deep breath "Dad's here….when I say he's here I mean he's a patient in the hospital, in fact he's pretty sick right now…."

"Joseph's here?" Mrs Wolowitz interrupted gripping the edge of the seat with her hands, it was a name she hadn't said out loud to anyone for over twenty years.

"He came looking for me a couple months ago, at first I didn't want anything to do with him, but then Bernadette read the letter he'd left behind and…"

Howard watched as the colour started to drain from his mother's face

"Ma you have to understand the only reason I didn't tell you was because I didn't know myself how I felt about seeing him again…." Howard took hold of his mother's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm your mother Howard you should have told me…" she uttered under her breath and pulled her hand away and struggled to get up from the seat

"Where are you going Ma?" Howard demanded "Please stay so we can talk…..believe me Dad is so sorry about everything, I think he's really changed…"

Now on her feet Howard's mom started to slowly walk away, Howard could hear her crying softly to herself as she edged further away.

"Ma please don't go!" Howard begged

Hearing her son calling out to her Mrs Wolowitz quickened her pace as much as she could, but it only took a few strides for Howard to catch up with his mother by the elevator.

"Howard I need to be alone" she told him firmly, she sounded out of breath as the elevator doors opened and she stepped inside

In the same way that seeing his father again had hit Howard like a Mac truck, the news had also come as a great shock to Mrs Wolowitz.

"Ok but at least let me drive you home mom, you don't look so good…" Howard said with concern as he watched his mother leaning up against the side of the elevator desperately trying to catch her breath.

"Ma?" Howard repeated

He watched in shock as his mother's eyes rolled and she slid down the inside of the elevator into a crumpled heap on the floor. Two nurses who were passing by on their way to the cafeteria rushed over to assist.

"Please help her…." Howard cried

Amy was in the kitchen cooking eggs and bacon for breakfast when there was a gentle knocking on the front door of the apartment. Raj who had come over the evening before was still sleeping soundly on the couch, he hadn't wanted to be alone while waiting for news and so had driven over to seek out the company of Sheldon and Amy. After word of the two latest additions to the group had reached them he had insisted on 'wetting the babies heads' by opening a bottle of champagne he had purchased. Initially Sheldon had declined to join Raj and Amy with their celebrations, but when Raj pointed out that it was a _'non optional social convention'_ he had relented and was now sleeping off the effects. Amy tip toed passed Raj on the couch and opened the door. There in his red bathrobe beaming from ear to ear, cradling his daughter in his arms in a pink baby grow and matching blanket was Leonard. It truly the most adorable sight to behold.

"I just thought I'd drop by so you could say hi to your new neighbour, Grace Hofstadter" he said in a hushed tone

Instantly Amy's eyes filled with tears of sheer joy as she reached out to stroke Grace's cheek.

"Oh my God Leonard she's beautiful!" she exclaimed noticing immediately that she had Leonard's dark hair but Penny's facial features.

On the couch Raj began to awaken and sat up

"Congratulations dude you must be so happy" he said and then enquired after Penny

"She's still pretty exhausted so she's sleeping right now, but otherwise she's fine" Leonard answered "Is Sheldon up?"

Amy smirked and told Leonard that he had had a little bit too much to drink the night before and was still asleep in bed. Leonard had wanted to tell them all together that he and Penny had got engaged, but as Sheldon was absent decided that it could wait until later.

"I guess I'll catch up with him later" Leonard said, before he could leave Amy said that she had a gift from her and Sheldon for baby Grace. From Sheldon's desk drawer she took a soft toy cat.

"It's not much just a small gift, I already named it '_Soft Kitty_'….." Amy blushed a little

"Thank you Amy it's a lovely thought" Leonard said truly touched by the gesture

Baby Grace began to stir, Amy could see her tiny legs kicking from beneath the pink blanket that she was wrapped in.

"I think it's probably time of her feed" Leonard told them

Both Raj and Amy stood at the door waving and cooing 'bye bye Grace' as Leonard ascended the stairs to his apartment. This was it. They were a family and now he had everything he had ever wanted.

Howard awoke in a darkened room with his head resting on the edge of his mother's bed. After she'd fainted the night before the doctors had decided to keep her in for observation. He opened his eyes to find that his mother was already awake and staring up at the lights on the ceiling.

"Ma? How are you feeling?...How long have you been awake?" he asked

"Long enough" came her reply and then she added "Howard I want to speak with my husband now"

Howard rubbed his eyes as he began to fully awaken

"Are you sure Ma? I mean maybe you're not up to it yet…" he suggested

Howard's mother turned her head on the pillow so she could make direct eye contact with her son.

"I've waited more than twenty years for answers" she told him defiantly "I'm not going to wait a moment longer…Now are you just going to sit there or are you going to help your mother?"

At first Mrs Wolowitz attempted to clamber out of the bed unaided, but her legs still felt very weak so Howard insisted on getting a wheelchair for her. After informing the nursing staff Howard wheeled his mom out into the hall and towards the elevator.

"Ma are you sure this is what you want?" he asked for maybe the tenth time as they reached the door to his father's room, the last thing he wanted was for her to have another turn.

"I'm sure Howard" she answered and patted his hand "This is something I need to do"

Howard pushed open the door and wheeled his mother inside. She had imagined that she would feel anger upon setting eyes on him again after so long, but in reality what she felt was shock at seeing her husband who was now physically a shadow of the man she had once known.

"Joseph" she said after a few moments of gazing at the man who she had loved so very much and who had broken her heart. Joseph opened his eyes to see his wife in the doorway.

"My God woman what happened to you?" he commented seeing that she was wearing a hospital gown and was sat in a wheelchair

"Funny I was gonna ask you the exact same question Joseph ..." she stated matter of factly "As it happens I fainted here last night..."

"Figures you always were bit of a drama queen weren't ya?" laughing at fisrt but then adding "Are you ok now?"

When Howard's mom failed to respond Howard bent over to speak

"Are you alright Ma?" he asked with concern fearing that it had been a mistake, perhaps this was all too much too soon.

"Yes" she answered "I think I'd like to have some time alone with your father now please Howard"

Howard agreed to the request and retreated to wait outside in the hall. He waited and waited and after almost afull hour he looked up to see Bernadette walking nervously down the hall towards him in her bathrobe and slippers. Her doctor had confirmed that she and her baby would be discharged by that afternoon.

"Howie one of the nurses told me what happened to your mom last night, is she ok?" she asked as she sat down beside her husband

"I think so" Howard answered "She's in there right now talking to my dad"

Howard nodded his head in the direction of the closed door

"They've been talking for almost an hour now… it's been awfully quiet, no raised voices whatsoever, who knows maybe they've killed each other and we'll wind up having a double funeral…"

It was a macabre joke which Howard had only said to try and lessen his deepening anxiety

"Howie" Bernadette said "Don't say that!"

Howard stood up and walked over to the drinks vending machine

"It's not fair Bernie" he said as he pretended to study the drinks selection "I get my father back after all this time only to find out I'm gonna lose him all over again…" Howard swallowed the lump in his throat "I don't know if I can handle this…"

Bernadette got up and put her arms around her husband, there were some moments in life when there was nothing that could be said that could be of any particular comfort and this was one of them. Instead she chose to just hold him tight and reassure him that she was there for him. A moment later the door to the room began to open, Howard pulled open the door fully to reveal his mother. From inside the room Howard could see that his father was now sleeping.

"How did it go Ma? What did you say?" were the questions he fired off as she emerged, there were many other questions he had for his mother.

Howard crouched down beside his mother and saw hers lips curling into a sad smile

"What we said is between me and your father, but let's just say we've made our peace with each other now…"

"That's great mom" Howard said feeling relieved that the encounter had gone well

Mrs Wolowitz took hold of her son's hand

"And now it's your turn to make your peace with your father Howard"

Over his mom's shoulder Howard could see his father in the bed, his breathing sounded raspy now.

"I…..I don't think I know what to say…" he stammered

Other than losing fairly distant members of his family, thankfully until now he had never experienced the loss of anyone who was very close to him.

"I'm sure you'll find the right words" Mrs Wolowitz assured him and then asked to be taken back downstairs

As Howard wheeled his mother back he noticed an aching sensation in his chest which intensifed every time he thought of his father. His mother was right it was time to make his peace with his father...

And although the thought of it broke his heart, Howard knew it was also time to prepare to say a final goodbye.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Dad?" Howard said softly "Dad we thought you'd like to meet your grandson…"

Joseph opened his eyes to see Howard holding his new born son in his arms; Bernadette was stood at his side her arm around his waist. At the sight of his grandson Joseph's face broke into a beaming smile.

"Howard he's adorable" Joseph exclaimed

Howard edged forward bent over and gently placed his son into his father's arms

"Oh hello little one…" he cooed his eyes filled with tears

"We're still working on a name for him" Bernadette said as she perched on the edge of the bed

Bernadette and Howard watched Joseph cuddle their baby and then seemingly without warning he broke down and began to sob, quickly Bernadette retrieved her baby from his arms

"Dad what is it? Do you want me to go get someone?" Howard asked fearing that he in pain again

Joseph dismissed Howard's offer by waving his hand in the air

"I'm ok son I just thought…." He paused "I thought I wouldn't live to see this moment…."

Bernadette and Howard exchanged a look

"Listen Dad Bernadette is ok to leave the hospital now, so I'm gonna drive her home, but I'll come back later to see you I promise" Howard told him

At first Joseph shook his head and told Howard that he should stay home with his wife and baby, but Howard insisted on returning and Bernadette agreed. There was still so much that had to talk about and there was no way of knowing how much time he had left. They said their goodbyes and as Bernadette leant over to kiss her father-in-law he squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear.

"Thank you so much for everything Bernadette…."

He knew full well that had it not been for Bernadette coming to see him then he may never have had the opportunity to make peace with his son and his wife.

As promised later that afternoon Howard drove back to the hospital. As he made his way to his father's room he saw a nurse merge who told him that his doctors had had to up his pain medication.

"But he's going to be ok?" Howard asked and realised that he hadn't phrased the question correctly "What I mean is he isn't going to die just yet is he?"

The nurse placed a comforting hand on Howard's shoulder

"Truthfully we don't know how much time your father has, all I can advise is that you go and sit with him…" she advised

Howard nodded thanked the nurse and pushed open the door to his father's room. As he suspected he found his father sleeping, pulling up a chair he settled down beside the bed for what was about to become the longest night of his life….

Bernadette had just finished feeding her baby and got him down to sleep when there was a knock on the door.

"I'm coming" she called quickly glancing in the hall mirror to check her reflection, whoever it was she didn't want them to see that she had been crying. It was if the Gods knew that other than her Howard or her mother there was only one other person she would most like to see. There in the doorway stood Jake.

"Hi Mommy" he beamed "I was gonna call by in a few days but what with Howard and his father I thought I'd come sooner see how you're both doing.…"

Jake stopped mid-sentence, as he studied Bernadette's face and realised that she had been crying.

"Bernadette what's wrong? Is it Howard?" he asked sympathetically

Bernadette shook her head and explained that Howard was at the hospital with his father so she was alone. Her Mom and Dad were coming over later, but it wasn't the same. She wanted Howard.

"I know that this is something he has to do, but part of me just wants him to be home with me… this isn't how I imagined it would be at all…" Bernadette said as her tears flowed once more "Howard's so upset at the thought of losing his Dad and I just don't know what to say…. Wanting him to be here probably makes me the most selfish person in the world right?…."

Jake wrapped his arms around Bernadette and allowed her to let out her emotions. The postnatal period was often a rollercoaster of emotions even at the best of times, but to have a husband tending to his dying father at the same time was an unimaginable strain. Jake insisted that Bernadette sit down while he made tea and fixed her something to eat. An hour later with some food and herbal tea inside her Bernadette was feeling a bit better and thanked Jake again for all his support.

"Do you ever think about settling down and starting your own family?" Bernadette asked as she finished the last piece of her sandwich "I think you'd make a wonderful father…"

Bernadette noticed a faraway and somewhat look sad look in Jake's eyes and sensed that perhaps she had over stepped the line by asking such a personal a question.

"I guess one day I would like to" Jake answered noncommittally and took a swig from his tea and set down the cup "Listen if you're ok Bernadette I think I should be going now, maybe you should get some rest you look pretty tired honey"

Bernadette smiled, touched by Jake's continued genuine concern and promised that she would go lay down as soon as Jake had left.

"I'm gonna miss you Jake" Bernadette said as they were both stood at the door saying their goodbyes

"I'll be round in a few days to see how you and Howard are doing and to find out what you're gonna name that beautiful boy of yours" he promised her before softly kissing her cheek

"Take care Bernadette, stay strong"

For Howard the first few hours passed very slowly as he sat and watched his father while he slept, but eventually as night fell Joseph stirred, opened his eyes and said Howard's name.

"I'm right here Dad" Howard answered touching his hand

"What time is it?" he asked

Howard glanced at his wrist watch

"It's a little after 9pm, you've been asleep for several hours, how do you feel? Are you in any pain?"

"No son I'm not in pain" Joseph replied

Remembering the item that he had brought along with him Howard rummaged in the bag by his feet and pulled out the magician's cape that his father had given him, the one which he had denied remembering. He passed it to his father.

"Dad I wanted you to know that I wasn't telling the truth about the magicians cape. I've kept all these years and I never forgot you giving it to me"

Joseph looked down at the cape and stroked the material and felt again the pain of leaving his family behind.

"I'm glad you kept it Howard, it means a lot to me" he said quietly

There was a silence for a few minutes during which Joseph continued to stroke the cape as he remembered the times when Howard had worn it as a child and then painfully the day when he had tried to go back home and had seen Howard wearing it while putting on a magic show for his mother.

"Is it a clear night tonight Howard? Are there any stars in the sky?" he asked looking up from examining the stars that were sewn into the fabric of the cape

Howard had spent some time looking out the window while he had been waiting for his father to wake up. Sure enough a blanket of bright stars was covering the night sky.

"Yeah there are" Howard responded and wandered over to the window to draw the blind so that they could both see out.

"Howard tell me about when you went to space" Joseph said after studying the sky for a short time, he wanted to be able to fill in the gaps for the years he had been absent. Going to space had been one of the greatest achievements and experiences of Howard's life so far. Howard turned away from looking out the window.

"Are you sure you're not to tired Dad? Maybe you should rest some more…"

However Joseph was insistent on Howard telling him every last detail. Sitting down once again Howard began to recollect the whole story about how his involvement with the telescope had got him a place on the mission to the International Space Station, and how the mission had initially been cancelled only to be reinstated a short while later. He told his father the funny story about how he had wanted to earn the nick name _'Rocket Man'_ by having the Elton John song as the ringtone on his cell phone, but had wound up being called _'Fruit Loops'._ His father chuckled a little and then Howard went on to tell him about the day of the launch and how afraid he had been.

"Seriously I thought I was gonna die in that shuttle, I was so terrified…"

Howard stopped himself as he realised the implications of what he was saying. The chances of him actually dying whilst on the mission had been slim, but for his father death was now practically staring him in the face.

"I'm sorry Dad I wasn't thinking" Howard apologised feeling slightly ashamed of himself for his unintentional tactlessness

Joseph sighed and patted Howard's hand

"That's ok son. I was scared before, but I'm not now" he said assuringly

"You're not?" Howard couldn't help but feel impressed by his father's courage, the thought of dying at any age or in any circumstances petrified him.

"Dying is just part of life son, it will come to us all in the end….I'm just so glad that I finally got to see you and your mom again and to meet Bernadette and my wonderful grandson….I 'm just sorry that we don't have much time to….." Joseph's voice trailed off

There was another silence, Howard glanced over at the bedside table and there beside his official NASA portrait photo he noticed a copy of Jules Verne's novel _'From the Earth to the Moon'._ One of Joseph's neighbours had brought it with them when they had come by earlier that day with some of his belongings.

"This is one of my favourite books" Howard began as he picked it up and flicked through the pages

"Yes I know Bernadette told me" Joseph said

"Maybe I could read some of it to you?" Howard suggested

Joseph closed his eyes as Howard pulled his seat in closer to the bed and began to read out loud the first chapter. When he finished he touched his father's hand.

"Dad?" he whispered "Are you ok?"

Howard closed the book and replaced it on the table

"You know I was in college when that song was released, the one you mentioned earlier _'Rocket Man_'" Joseph spoke slowly he seemed to be tiring again

"Really?"

"1972 the year I met your mother, I remember it playing on the radio while we were making out in my car on a date ….…"

Howard smiled it was nice to be able to hold on to a happy memory of the time when his parents had been together, there seemed to be so few.

"It might be difficult for you to believe me Howard but I did love her, I just made a foolish mistake in thinking that somehow there was a better life for me elsewhere, but I was SO wrong and when I finally came to my senses and tried to come back home I backed out like the coward I am…. That was the second biggest mistake I've ever made in my life…..the first was the day I left..."

Howard was now aware of everything, when he and Bernadette had got home from the hospital she had told him the whole story.

"Dad its ok please I forgive you, I don't want you to feel guilt now over what happened, its time to let it go…."

It was hard for Howard to forgive his father, but from what he could see he was truly remorseful and had spent the last twenty years punishing himself for his mistake. The last thing he wanted was for the father was to die thinking that he hadn't been forgiven.

"You know I have that song on my cell phone, why don't I play it to you" Howard said taking his phone from his pocket.

Howard stood up and plumped up the pillows behind his father before playing the song. As the music began Joseph let out a long deep sigh and closed his eyes and Howard took hold of his hand. From where he was seated Howard could see out the window, the stars were burning brightly in the sky and his mind drifted back to his wedding day and to his time in space.

'_I miss the Earth so much, I miss my wife'_

'_It's lonely in outer space…."_

As the song was coming to an end the nurse who Howard had spoken with Howard earlier entered the room to check on her patient.

"Mr. Wolowitz?" she said and when he failed to rouse she frowned and felt his neck for a pulse

"What is it?" Howard breathed feeling his heart skip a beat, he looked at his father his chest no longer appear to be moving.

The nurse didn't need to reply, the expression on her face told Howard that his father was gone.

"I'm very sorry Howard"

Howard stood up and stared down at his father with a look of shock and disbelief. He didn't want to believe that he could have gone so quickly, only a few minutes earlier they had been talking, there was still so much that he had wanted to share with him. Briefly a doctor came in to the room and left after a couple of minutes.

"Would you like me to call someone for you?" the nurse offered

Howard shook his head. It was the middle of the night and Bernadette and his mother would most likely be asleep by now and he didn't want to disturb them. What he was longing for was to have a few more moments with his father.

"Can I have some time alone with my Dad please?" he asked holding back his tears

"Sure you take as much time as you need" the nurse answered softly

Howard got up and wandered back over to the window, taking out his cell phone he re-played the song as he gazed up at the sky. As he listened he peered down at his cell phone, it now had a photo of Bernadette and their son as his wallpaper and despite his grief he couldn't help but think how truly blessed he was. As he looked up once more he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window, there behind him in the room stood his father, although the image he was seeing was of a younger man of about the same age as Howard was now. The vision of his father smiled as if to let Howard know that all was well and that he was ok now. Howard spun around only to find the room empty, with only his father's body in the bed.

"Dad?" Howard cried out to the empty room as the music was fading

"_And I think it's gonna be a long long time… "_

"_And I think it's gonna be a long long time… "_

"_And I think it's gonna be a long long time… "_


	21. Chapter 21

six weeks had gone by since Howard's father had sadly passed away, and for the first time he and Bernadette were spending the evening with all their friends. After everything that had happened with the accident, the birth of two babies and Howard's father there had been no opportunity yet to celebrate Amy and Sheldon moving in together and Leonard and Penny's engagement. Now it was Saturday evening and the seven friends were gathered in apartment 4A for a dinner party. It had taken Amy all day to prepare a Chinese food feast for them all, but now it was wonderfully satisfying to see them all gathered around the newly purchased dining table tucking in with great gusto.

"Thank you Amy this food is really amazing" Penny said "Maybe you could share the recipe with me sometime"

Penny herself wasn't much of a chef, Leonard and her still tended to live off spaghetti and macaroni cheese most of the time. At that moment the sound of a baby crying came over the baby monitor. It was Grace who had been sleeping in Leonard's old bedroom while they were eating. A second later and there was another bout of crying as baby Joey woke up too. After Howard's father had died Bernadette and Howard had decided to name him Joseph after him, although they referred to him as Joey.

"I'll go" Amy said and got to her feet and disappeared off to the bedroom only to return a short while later having managed to settle them both back to sleep.

"You know Grace and Joey look so adorable lying side by side in their cribs" she announced grinning as she took her place again at the dinner table and Leonard replenished her wine glass "Wouldn't it be so cool if when they're older they fall in love and got married?…."

"Whoa steady on there Amy" Penny began slightly startled by the suggestion " I don't think I'm comfortable with you marrying off my daughter so easily… like I always say there's a lot of options out there…"

Bernadette put down her fork and scowled at Penny

"Are you saying Joey isn't good enough for Grace?" she accused

"I don't think that's what Penny meant honey" Howard chipped in and patted Bernadette's hand, hoping to avert an argument about Joey and Grace hypothetrically getting married. Just then there was a knock on the door, relieved for an excuse to leave the table Leonard leapt up from his seat and answered the door. To his surprise it was Jake.

"Hi Leonard I'm sorry I can see you guys are eating I won't stay long…." he began

"No problem Jake come in and join us, would you like something to eat? Some wine maybe?" Leonard offered

Jake was grateful for the hospitality but declined the offer.

"No thanks Leonard actually I have a friend waiting downstairs in the car, so I really can't stay long. I just came to say goodbye to you all"

"Goodbye?" Bernadette said in surprise

"Where are you going?" Penny questioned

"I'm moving back to New York" Jake answered " As you already know I had to leave the apartment I was renting a couple of months ago, since then I've been sleeping on a colleagues not so comfortable couch …"

"So why not rent another apartment here in Pasadena?" Bernadette asked while thinking privately to herself that there had to another reason behind Jake's decision to leave California so suddenly.

Jake sighed and for a moment stared down at the floor, it was painful talking about his life before he came to California and it was something he rarely did.

"Listen I haven't been entirely straight with you. Normally I like to keep things on a professional level with clients and I don't talk too much about my own life, but after everything that's happened you guys kinda feel like my friends..."

The group of seven sat in silence and waited patiently for Jake to continue

"I have a daughter, Anna. She's six years old now and she lives with her mother in New York. We were married but we split up before Anna was one year old. I made a lot of mistakes, I was selfish completely focused on my own career, I had this idea I was gonna be a self-made millionaire and everything would have this perfect life… only it wasn't I was a terrible husband and a bad father. I wasn't even there on the day Anna was born" he added sadly "I was at some stupid business conference trying to seal a deal.. I was a total jerk and when my wife eventually had enough and left me, it came as a total shock I hadn't even seen it coming..."

There was a pause

"So after the divorce I gave up the business moved to Califronia and trained as an EMT and then later as a doula. Anyway, I've decided to move back to New York to try and re-establish a relationship with my daughter, Ive already missed so much of her growing up and I don't want to miss out anymore…"

Everyone in the room was touched by Jake's story and by his honesty and courage in sharing it with them.

"So was that part of the reason why you became a doula?" Penny asked remembering the story he had told her about how a woman giving birth in his ambulance had inspired him to train as a doula.

"I guess it was" Jake answered sincerely

Helping couples through the process of childbirth was one of the ways he had tried to make up for the way in which he had failed his own wife and daughter. Jake's cell phone beeped indicating a text message, he glanced at the screen

"It's my friend downstairs he's telling me to get a move on; he's driving me to the airport"

One by one all the men shook hands with Jake and then Amy offered him a hug, followed by Bernadette and finally Penny.

"Take care" she whispered to him "And good luck I hope you manage to work things out with your daughter"

Jake made his way to the door and then stopped as he remembered

"Oh and you give those two beautiful babies a kiss from me" Jake said as he waved goodbye from the door.

"We will" Bernadette and Penny called out in unison

Once Jake had left the mood of the evening seemed to change into a more sombre one, hardly a word was spoken as they finished their desserts and coffees. Thankfully the earlier debate about Grace and Joey getting married in the future didn't resurface.

"Well I guess we should be going" Penny announced as she walked over to the couch to pick up her purse while Leonard went to retrieve Grace from the bedroom. Taking out her cell phone she realised that she had a missed call and a voicemail message. Penny put the phone to her ear and listened back to the message, a moment later as Leonard came back into the room she squeeled with delight.

"Penny what is it?" Amy asked

"That was my agent I got the part" she shrieked again and jumped up and down on the spot "I got the part!"

"The part in the soap?" Leonard said in amazement

The previous week Penny had auditioned for a small part on a soap, that if successful had potential to be made into a more permanent role. However, when Penny had returned from the audition a she had been convinced that she had messed up and had no chance of being offered the part.

"Oh my God Penny that's great" Bernadette exclaimed

"I think that social protocol dictates that this news calls for some kind of celebration" Sheldon began

Since Amy moved in Sheldon had become a little more relaxed in his demeanour and outlook. He was no means a completely changed man, but it clear to see that having Amy around was having a positive effect on him. Amy fetched the bottle of champagne that she had chilling in the fridge and Raj opened it and poured them each a glass.

"I'd like to propose a toast" Sheldon began "First to Penny, who I think we can all say we're very proud of for her achievement…."

Penny exchanged a look of bewilderment with Leonard; it was very unlike Sheldon to acknowledge the acheievements of others, particularly if they weren't related to the field of physics.

"And secondly to us all, although our lives have changed a great deal some things have remained the same…by which I mean the friendship we have in each other and as you all know I'm a big fan of homeostasis…"

At that point everyone laughed clinked glasses and said cheers.

"Hey Penny you didn't say what part it was that you got?" said Raj as he sipped on his champagne

Penny grinned and said that they would never be able to guess

"Tell us!" Amy begged anxious to hear all about it

Penny took a sip of her champagne and looked at her friends over the rim of the glass, and with a cheeky smile said

"A waitress!"

**THE END.**

**I would just like to thank everybody who has taken the time to review my story. It has been great fun to write and has been particularly fascinating reading the different reactions and view points with regard to the Jake character. I hope to write again soon.**

**Thanks again!**

**BBT78**


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